Not What You’d Think

She flinched a little as he snapped back at her, telling her that he didn't want to hear about it, making her fed up anger boil even hotter with tears pricking at her eyes. She never intended to talk to him about Erys in any kind of specifics, but the things that continued to be a problem between them were the things that had driven her to Erys to begin with. The guilt and the shame that Balthier had brought into their sex life, the way he refused to even address it as a problem, the way he stormed out every time she tried to bring it up or mend things. She couldn't take it any more. She was exhausted by it all and even though she did still love him and she dreaded the thought of not having him in her life, she just couldn't put up with the constant rollercoaster of emotions any more. She had gotten a taste of what love and sex could be and she couldn't go back from that now.

He yelled again, saying how they weren't supposed to be together, and made her flinch again as her stomach twisted up into knots. Even still, he conflicted himself as always as he insisted that he didn't want to be with anyone else. It this cyclical thinking had kept them trapped for far too long and she hadn't felt strong enough to finally break the cycle—at least not until now. She watched as he laid there looking away from her for a long moment until he finally attempted to get up and made a miserable attempt of trying to leave, bumping into the wall and staggering over to the door only to slam into the door frame again. She sighed and got down from the bed, walking over to where he was standing at the door and slipped past him, tuning to face him as she gently pushed his chest with her paw to nudge him back toward the interior of the bungalow. "You stay, I'll go," she insisted firmly. She didn't want to be near him any more than he seemed to want to be and she wasn't going to sit around and let him drunkenly blame all of this on her any longer.

She turned to leave, hurrying down the small set of stairs that led off of the porch before he could stop her. Before she left though she turned back to face him with angry tears in her eyes, yelling up at him, "If you truly loved me then you wouldn't treat me this way! If we're not 'meant to be together' then maybe we shouldn't be!" With that, she turned and started storming down the beach to go find somewhere, anywhere, else to be but here. She didn't know where she could go in the middle of the night, but it was better than dealing with Balthier's drunken belligerence any longer.

"Azzurra"