Try To Shut Me Down

She took a moment to contemplate, because there wasn't an easy answer. She wanted to know what would happen once they coupled, the feelings, the emotions. She felt like Chimera was the only one there for it to happen. But she didn't really have other choices. She didn't get out to meet others in the pack, she often didn't meet anyone outside of Fenmyre. She didn't trust herself or really even others to be with them intimately and more so after the fact. Chimera could understand her when she needed to leave after, even if he didn't agree. Even if he wanted her to stay. She didn't trust herself. She knew she wasn't right yet, or maybe expected never to be.

"What if I don't feel anything?" She commented, which seemed to be the height of her own inner battle, "What if it changes us? What if I don't like it?" She didn't want to think of not liking Chimera, but in the end he probably wouldn't know. She knew how to fake her enjoyment and he wouldn't know what she was like bedded either so that would be easy. "I like to think I'm ready, to ask you at least. But I don't feel like the time is right." Her eyes narrowed slightly to the thought, "I'd accept your own decisions but... I don't want to feel rejected by you again either." Maybe that spoke in volumes to how she felt about him, or maybe it was just this own part of her needy personality. She'd really never know unless she tried but, "I don't feel like the time is right, but will I know when? With you? With anyone else?"

"Reila"