Anticipated Heartbreak

The look of surprise on her face proved what a fool he had been in not telling her.  How would she have known his plans after all?  It made sense and perfect logic he should have told her earlier.  Hindsight often saw things clearer but the image wasn’t always pleasant.  It was his turn to glance down at their paws as she asked why he hadn’t told her.  There was an excellent reason; he hadn’t thought it through.  “I was a fool,” proud or not normally in this he’d screwed up so badly and it was evident in the edge of anger put at himself. With a resigned sigh, his eyes tilted back up to look into her own snake-like eyes, “I just imagined there was still time.  I wanted to move up in rank first.  I wanted to be more than just some warrior or lieutenant when I told you.  Everything was supposed to be perfect.  It was only more recently I started thinking of it that way also.  I’ve been looking at my future more often lately.”  The future that would now never come to be.  

She was his proud princess, both soft and yet so strong.  She had been his friend for a year or so now and at some point it had changed in his mind.  Still, it wasn’t until her paw cupped his jaw, turned his head, and kissed him how fully he saw how time had passed.  They were both older now and could have been so much more.  His perfect picture for a moment seemed even more perfect.  The kiss could have been held longer but she slid her head away and surprised Kotori with tears.

Kotori shifted his body to press up alongside her, wrapping his own leg around her shoulders, but doing it slowly enough to try and make sure her head still had a place to rest as she cried.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered gently, “I was such an idiot.  Iki, I’m sorry.  I wronged you in not thinking through it better.  We can see each other, of course.  Even if its as friends.”  It was hard to not show distaste for the word ‘friend’ though, it wasn’t friend, it would always be more than that.  “If the day comes to pass you are free again then come to me, all right?”  Things do happen.


Kotori Fatalis