Anticipated Heartbreak

Kotori was agitated but it was focused on himself.  As he watched his Ikigai wince it seemed apparent she hadn’t taken it that way.  Wasn’t a clean break best?  No long drawn out suffering over what couldn’t be had.  Kotori had no real experience trying to comfort another, at least only a time or two during the long night and that had been different.  That had been in fear for her life this was an emotional pain with nothing to fight.  How do you help when there are no good options?  

Today.  She was leaving today and that would be the end of it.  No, he would see her occasionally when they met up as friends.  It was something but, it wasn’t what Kotori wanted.  It was so frustrating he wasn’t even able to put up a fight for what he wanted.  If you want a thing you take it or work towards taking it.  

Kotori’s heart dropped at seeing his princess trembling.  Not his princess, someone else's.  He could just bite this other wolf right now, probably a good thing he wasn’t here.  No one would be happy if he did that for the damned alliance but it would feel so good.  It felt like the older he got the more determined Kotori was to try and shape his own life versus doing what others would want of him.  Apparently, there were still limits.  

Kotori opened his mouth with plans to try and calm her when she suddenly said she was sorry and turned to flee.  “Iki,” the snappier voice went to softer words meant towards her, “If anything happens, come back to me.  Please.” What if he did have another mate by then?  Maybe he wouldn’t have found one good enough but was there any reason he couldn’t have two?  Would his fine Ikigai except not being the only one?  Would the other one be better than Ikigai or could he toss another one and replace them with her again just like that should she reappear?  Kotori didn’t know what the hell he’d do but he wanted her back.  

As she ran off Kotori felt very much alone with an emptiness swelling in him.  A broken bauble of glass that was his dream fell and shattered.  For a while, he didn’t move but sat there and looked in the direction she had run.  Could he say he loved her or just the dream of a future with her?  If he didn’t love her would he have come to love her with time?  Probably.  Yes.  Would anyone else ever be the same?  His fragile yet full of spirit princess would never be replaced and there was nothing he could even do to help her deal with this.  If he could have Kotori had screwed it up.

After several minutes he got up feeling as though it had been much longer.  He should go back in to the festivities but had no heart for looking a proper guest.  Where to go then?  The beach where the wedding had been was a nice location.  Kotori didn’t go back to the exact wedding site but found another spot farther off where he could sit and watch the tide, waiting for it to sweep away this hurt.

"Kotori Fatalis"