Every Step I Take Is Another Mistake

Every time he looked at her he’d see the faces that should have been there with them today. They would have been yearlings, starting to find their paths to adulthood. He wondered too often what they might have been like, if they’d take after him, Duch, his family? There were so many possibilities they would never know because they weren’t here. They were parents to dead children and that fact would never change.

After a long moment she mentioned Ricin. Indigo knew him in passing, he was a good lad as far as he could tell and Duch’s words about him cut Indigo deeply. He’d made great strides with Aslatiel but there would always be that tiny piece of his heart that wasn’t going to come back and it wasn’t going to heal because it died with the babies he should have had.

He looked away and closed his eyes tightly as he withheld the overwhelming emotions she coaxed from him. Just a few words and he was brought right back to the familiar state of mourning. He hadn’t ever really stopped in the year they had been dead. It never got any easier, and this was a reminder that there was no progress made beyond living with the weight of this burden. He was strong enough to carry it now, but it never relented.

Indigo didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t say anything really. No words would ever be able to convey the feelings within, nor how easily she brought them out of him. He clenched his paw as he fought for control, and closed his eyes to hold back. How different would everything be if they were here today? Would they be much like Ricin as Duchess hoped? "I’ll never forget what we lost.” He whispered softly, quieting in the jovial crowd in remembrance of them.

"Speech"