Do It For Me. Do It For Us.

He wasn’t sure he believed in magic or sorcery, curses or blessings, but he did wonder what it was that made him fall to pieces beside Duchess. She embodied everything he had been unable to do the wolves that he failed, and the children he lost. Part of him wanted to save her still, to deliver her from the hole they dug for themselves. But by now Indigo knew full well if he let her grab his paw she would drown him. Aslatiel knew it too, that was why she had blood staining her pelt.

As soon as they were alone Asla turned and caught his sapphire gaze. She had seen him and known what Duchess did to him, ripping open the wounds that were beginning to heal. After he talked to Aslatiel about his lost puppies and confessed how much he missed them, Indigo began to make a change for the better. Just telling her about them helped to put them to rest in his soul. Maybe it hadn’t been as visible, but he was healing. He wasn’t the shattered man he had been when Aslatiel returned to him.

Aslatiel scolded him then, just like he was one of her own children and he frowned. What she said was true, he needed to hold himself together. He knew it and wouldn’t deny it, but he couldn’t help how he felt either. It was like a gnawing at the back of his head and in his heart that ate any kind of happiness he tried to hold onto or foster. He sat back as Aslatiel went on, trying to convince him out of the depressive pit that swallowed him of none of his own accord.

”I know, Aslatiel. Do you really believe I enjoy this…” He lifted his paw as he trailed off, eyes on the dark pads beneath thick furred toes. He clenched his toes together and lowered his paw back to the ground as he sat back. ”Just seeing her though… It was all fresh, like I’d had no progress at all from the day it happened.” Indigo confessed to her. She told him what she needed from him, and he was asking to bear one more burden with him. She wanted to be partners, and he couldn’t share this with her. It wasn’t fair, to her or to him.

”But it also made me realize that progress was possible, that I really had made strides against it. I never would have without you. I know you need me, I’ve failed you before and I wont again, I just need a little more help, for a little longer.” He pleaded with her softly. Indy wanted to wake up tomorrow and feel alright again, but how could something so deep and terrifying be overcome in one night? He couldn’t help himself then and closed the distance between them, aiming to hold her to his chest, to reaffirm she was his. Forever. There didn’t have to be any more tears, his heart’s desire was here in his arms.

Indigo Arcturus Fatalis