The Worst Outcome

Syanna didn't know how long she'd been staring at the wall, fazed out of reality with the dark thoughts swirling about in her broken brain. It could have only been a few minutes or a few hours. Time meant so little to her anymore. But eventually she heard the latch of the bedroom door open and the familiar heavy footfalls of Ezra coming back in. He called out her name, but she didn't respond. She couldn't. Her voice suddenly seemed impossible to use. The bed sagged with her boyfriend's weight as he climbed in beside her and snuggled close, his foreleg draping across her. She caught his paw reflexively as it moved to her midsection, slowly guiding it up away from her belly to rest on her chest instead. He asked in worried tones if she was okay. No. No she was not okay. Nothing about her was okay anymore. But how did she tell him that? How did she break his heart with the reality of their circumstances? This wasn't fair—not to her, not to Ezra, not to anyone. She only hoped the fucker that had done this to her had died in terrible pain, screaming and begging for mercy.

Sucking in a shallow, shaking breath, Syanna blinked her deep green eyes to bring herself back into reality. "No, no I'm not okay," she said, her voice quivering with the shame and panic while a cream paw came up to wipe away the frightened tears welling up in her eyes. She had to tell him, had to be honest with him, but that felt like an impossible task. "Ezra... I'm... I..." Syanna's entire body shuddered while she curled in on herself again, gnashing her teeth together in rage and upset. "I'm so sorry..." He wouldn't understand... not yet, at least. "My heat ended, Ezra... It ended early. Just after I came back." She slowly peered back over his shoulder, wanting nothing more than to avoid seeing the pain in his expression when he finally understood what she meant, but she needed to make him understand. He was such a dopey boy, she hoped she wouldn't need to spell out the painfully obvious for him. "It ended because of him." Please understand... Please... She didn't want to say aloud that she was pregnant with her rapist's pups.

"Syanna & Ezra"