The Worst Outcome

Syanna felt like she was holding her breath from the moment she finished explaining the options and risks to Ezra. Her boyfriend's hard, scrutinizing expression while he considered and weighed the possibilities seemed to go on for ages, his icy gaze shifting from her down to her belly and then back up again. Syanna appreciated the fact that he was thinking so heavily on this—it was a weighty decision for them to make—but the anticipation was crushing her beneath the pressure of it all. What would he decide was important to him? Would he choose a guaranteed future to have a family with her at the expense of growing and possibly dying birthing her rapist's pups? Would he think sacrificing a future of children and grandchildren was worth sparing her the physical pain and mental anguish of going through this ordeal? It was truly an impossible scenario for them both, one she could not make the decision on alone. She needed Ezra now more than ever.

When Ezra did finally speak, his words shocked her. Verdant eyes blinked wide, gazing up at him in disbelief. He was really going to sacrifice his chance at being a father and continuing on his family's bloodline just to protect her from the trauma these unwanted children would bring her? Could she really let him be this self-sacrificing? Ezra explained how he couldn't ask her to go through with this just to make sure they could have pups down the line, then rested his paw over hers on her belly and told her to take the herbs. "Ezra..." she sighed in incredulous disbelief. He was far too good for her... "If we do this, it could mean the end of your family." She knew how important family was to the Adravendi man. There was little chance any of his siblings would be carrying on their family, so it fell to Ezra. Ulric had never pushed them towards carrying on the bloodline, but she saw how important family was to both of them. Deep down in all wolves, the innate drive to carry on their family names was a hardcoded genetic instinct. Ezra was willing to deny all of that and risk the Adravendis going extinct to protect her.

Ezra ultimately left the decision up to her, but he had been so stalwart in his reasoning that Syanna knew there would be no attempting to change his mind. He was fixated on her and her alone, not some fantasies of what could be years in the future. She worried that perhaps he wasn't thinking far enough ahead or looking at the big picture and how this would affect things, but she wouldn't push him. Time was a factor, and if they were going to terminate the pregnancy, they needed to do it soon. The longer they waited, the worse it would be. Swallowing hard, Syanna nodded her head slowly, then gently began to untangle herself from his embrace. "Wait here," she told him in gentle tones, sliding gracefully off the bed and slipping out of their room to head down to the pharmacy storage. It only took her a few minutes to sneak in, gather up all the materials she required, then sneak back upstairs and into their room. Syanna dumped the myriad of plants onto her worktable and began to grind them up in a pestle and mortar. She worked in silence, saying nothing while melancholy hung heavy in her eyes. Agrimony, wintergreen, and khat all went in, followed by two small petals of wolfsbane. Once all the plants were ground down, she opened a water skin and filled the bowl, stirring until the liquid had changed from clear to a dark green. A tentative sniff confirmed the mixture was ready.

Syanna took a slow breath to steel her nerves, gazing down at the concoction like it were a poison—and in many ways, it was. This drink would be her ticket to being free of her assault for good, but the cost it required had yet to be determined. With shaking paws, Syanna took hold of the stone bowl, then turned to face Ezra. She peered up at him with nervousness in her eyes. "This is it..." She lifted the bowl, bringing it closer to her muzzle, but hesitating just an inch away. Once she swallowed, there would be no going back. Green eyes flickered up to her lover's face from beneath her lashes one last time. She had to be absolutely certain. "Are you sure...?" Though she didn't finish the question, it lingered in the silence. Was he sure he wanted to give up his future family? Was he sure he wanted to take that risk?

When Ezra confirmed his certainty for her, Syanna nodded and took another deep breath. Here goes nothing... Bottom's up. Syanna drank down the herby decoction with a few deep swallows, trying to down it all before she could taste it. As she swallowed the last gulp, she gagged on the flavor, but managed to keep it down. The vixen fae could swear she felt the liquid seeping down her throat to her belly, and then a growing warmth began to radiate outward from her stomach, growing hotter and hotter by the minute. "You might not want to stay for this part. It's not going to be pleasant," she said to Ezra while she began to go about the room, gathering up the water skin that was half full and carrying it over to the bed along with a few extra pillows. "It shouldn't take long. A few minutes to kick in, then the side effects should last a couple of hours. Every fae is different, so my symptoms might vary. But I'll get through it." Steeling herself for what was to come, Syanna brought an empty bucket over beside the bed, then hopped up onto the mattress and settled into the pillows, waiting for the inevitable first wave of pain to hit her. If she was going to suffer this, she was at least going to be comfortable during it.

"Syanna & Ezra"