The Worst Outcome

Focusing on her work and cutting out all emotions was the only way Syanna could function without having a panic attack. She'd seen what this process could do to a woman, had seen others go through it firsthand during her healer training in her birth pack. She knew what to expect, but even then, it scared her. She didn't want to be scared and she didn't want Ezra to see her scared. So she hid the anxiety behind a mask of seriousness, going through the motions she'd rehearsed time and time again with other faes. Now it seemed she would be her own patient. Despite her suggestion for him to leave, Ezra once more proved how pigheaded and stubborn he was when he climbed up behind her and settled in to comfort her through the process. Syanna flinched a little as an initial spike of pain in her belly informed her that the tonic had arrived at its destination. Ezra reassured her that he was going to go through this with her; they were a partner ship now. Then he asked if there was anything he could do. Syanna just cringed inward and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Just don't hate me when it's all over..." she murmured. A simple request, but a heavy one. She didn't want Ezra to grow scornful of her if this ended up destroying her reproductive system. She'd also seen too many partnerships ended in such a way, with a derisive husband abandoning his barren wife for one that could bear him children. Ezra's words were kind and sweet now, but as time and instinct tested their relationship, would his vow hold true when the biological urge to reproduce came calling?

For a while, nothing happened. The two wolves lay in bed in near silence while Syanna waited out the process. Every so often her paw would drift to her stomach, feeling a cramp or twinge that made her wince from the sudden discomfort. Then it hit her. Her insides twisted about, sharp stabbing pains lancing through her belly so strong she doubled over with gritted teeth. Syanna gasped for breath, the air knocked from her lungs while she fought her way through. If Ezra did anything to try to comfort her, she didn't notice. After some time of this, her stomach churned and wave after wave of intense nausea came over her. She tried to keep herself steady, but it was a losing battle. Syanna leaned over the edge of the bed and hurled the contents of her stomach into the bucket, twice. The water skin helped her clean the taste of bile from her mouth, but even that tested her stomach's ability to keep the water down. The pain intensified, leaving Syanna whining and clawing at the bed sheets. Fire burned through her muscles, radiating out from her core as she felt like a red hot poker had been shoved inside of her. Her face grimaced and contorted against the agony, teeth gritted and bared as she bore the torture. At no point did she find reprieve, the vixen-colored fae writhing about on the bed as she did everything she could to try to muddle her way through. There was no backing out now. She would have to endure.

The process lasted for just over two hours. When it finally began to subside, Syanna's breathing was labored and short, and every muscle in her body ached, but her core especially felt sore and tender. The poison had burned its way through her and done its job—at least she hoped it had. They would only know in a couple of days' time if it worked, when all symptoms of her pregnancy would either stop or continue. Syanna was mostly quiet while she lay there in the aftermath, her body shivering from the painful exertion all of her muscles had just gone through. She felt drained, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It had been one of the most grueling and terrible ordeals she had every been though, and that was including nearly being killed by her own family or raped and drowned by the monster in the forest. A part of her felt like it had been killed, yet there was some relief mixed in with the pain. She wouldn't have to grow and birth the monster's offspring. That chapter was over now, written, closed, and done. But now there was a new worry lingering in the back of her mind: what if she had just killed the Adravendi family? Tears misted the corners of her eyes while Syanna just lay in the mess of pillows and sheets, turned up from her thrashing, staring blankly into oblivion while she tried and failed to not go down that road in her head. There was still a hope that perhaps she'd recover fully intact, but the little lingering doubt that she may have just burned the bridge to motherhood forever could not be exiled from her heart.

"Syanna & Ezra"