Raijin, you ARE the father

He felt the slumping of his brother's body against his shoulder. That was something he expected. No matter the moment, the time, or the day, there was nothing their brotherly bond couldn't do. There were no words needed. Not even a glance in the same direction. As long as they were in the same room together, occupying the same space, their minds and hearts were linked. This time, though, Kuroo refused to let his brother meet his gaze. While tears threatened to spill in both good and bad ways, Kuroo wasn't sure what he wanted from all of this. Did he want Raijin to accept them as his sons? Did he want Raijin to tell the new pups that they had older siblings? Did he want to be included? Or did he want all the time missed back? Ultimately, his whole being wanted nothing more than to have a father.

From the day they had met Hattori Hanzo, they were sure that the man sitting in front of them was indeed their father. That was something their mother had not lied about. Were they ready to accept that? Had what she told them been the whole truth? Were there pieces missing that they didn't know about? These questions scratched at the back of his brain. Trying to keep his emotions at bay, Kuroo picked up the teapot as gently as he could and poured himself and Usagi a small cup while his mind reeled. Knowing his brother wouldn't touch it didn't matter, it was what brothers did. Even as he brought the cup to his lips to take a sip, his brain grew foggy as the words from Raijin's lips muddled into almost incomprehensive. Kuroo's eyes closed a moment, unable to understand what Raijin had gifted to him.

The taste of the tea as it splashed over his tongue reminded him of home. Stopping his mind in its tracks as memories flooded back to him. Reminding him of the lonely nights his mother had. Of the times when both he and Usagi gave her so much trouble she wished they had a father to scold them. A manly figure in the home to put them in their place. Not that the brothers were heathens, but boys were boys, and trouble they did bring. More tears bubbled along the edges of his lashes, threatening to spill as the mixing scent of spices permeated his nose. Setting down the cup with shaking paws, he looked at Raijin before looking down at the sack of spices. Surprise and anguish swirled together as he realized that Raijin was doing good on his part of the favor. Spices from home.

Shichimi Togarashi, Aonori, Furikake, Sansho pepper, and Wasabi. The familiar scents flooded him with more memories, more than he could handle. Those times when they would watch their friends be escorted home at dinner time by their fathers. How they would watch the other pups learn how to fight and how to hunt with the male figures in their life that were closest to them. They hadn't had that. All of their skills were poorly taught by their mother, loosely picked up by an uncle, or they managed on their own. One might say that an uncle would be good enough to replace the role of a father, but to the brothers, it never was. There was always that divide, that knowing that the uncle would ultimately go home to his own pups and raise them. Why had life been so cruel to them? Was he to blame Raijin for being absent? Or was he to blame their mother? Had she tried to tell him? Or had she kept her pregnancy a secret?

Still somersaulting within his own mind as he reached a paw to tightly clutch the spices, his body trembled quietly. Shudders rolled down his spine as he fought to stay in place. How could this man have avoided them their whole life but be so kind to them now? This all had to be some huge mistake or misunderstanding. Even when his brother managed to request his favor be that Raijin never leaves them, Kuroo barely heard him. The bag of spices nearly crumbled in the grip of his paw as he fought back every emotion that was flooding him. The pain, the heartbreak, the loneliness, the longing, the anger. It wasn't like him to feel these things. Nothing bothered him much. He was the level-headed, cool, calm, and collected brother that made sure Usagi didn't get his ass kicked.

But here he was now, contemplating throwing the spices at Raijin. Why now? Why did the dire man feel as if this were a good fucking time to turn in the favor from when they built the hut? Why did the Kaicho do that to them? Confusion laced his furrowed brows as water began staining the pale of his cheeks. Without thought, Kuroo stood and turned toward the entrance of the hut. Inhaling a deep breath, he brought the bag of spices outside and quickly handed them to his new companion, Saru. Silently, the golden-faced monkey understood and swiftly took the favor into the shadows of the maze. Letting the questions and thoughts and shouts in his head let go into oblivious so he could clear his mind, Kuroo wanted to scream.

It was then that he let the sobs flow freely from within. Silent and painful, he forced his body to relieve itself of the emotions that had built up inside. Clenching his jaw as tight as he could, his chest wheezed in and out as he let it all go. There was no sense in being angry. He wasn't angry. No, he was lost. He was terrified. He still longed for that father that he and his brother had always hoped for. And he wasn't going to miss out on it now. Turning back around to return not a few minutes later, Kuroo took his seat once more beside Usagi and let his red-rimmed eyes get a good look at Raijin. "Our mother did not reveal her first name to us, but our familial name is Shima. If that rings any bells, please, we need to know if we were kept a secret from you or not," Kuroo could only find the words in Japanese as his dry mouth sought out another sip of tea.

"Speech"