*insert 'this is fine' meme*

It probably wasn't a secret to anyone who cared to wonder that Avantika was not doing well. She hadn't been truly okay for a while, but she'd only gotten worse. Nothing could get past a layer of indifference that floated above her skin like armor. It didn't matter. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore. She stuck to her routines like she'd die if she didn't, even knowing that she almost definitely didn't have to anymore. She couldn't bring herself to figure out how to do anything else. Every spark of love or ambition or drive she once had had fully vanished. She didn't eat much and she slept less; she had abandoned any form of self-care in order to keep patrolling. She felt like a robot, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Worse, she'd abandoned Audra. The woman she loved -- the woman she had wanted to raise a family with. There was nothing but stiffness and distance there now. Relationships were hard. Avantika just couldn't do it anymore. She didn't want to leave her beautiful, happy Audra, but Audra was no longer happy. Even through the fog, Avantika knew that.

Avantika didn't want to speak to anyone, so she hadn't. In months, she had not had one decent conversation with a single person. It was fine. Everything was fine. Everything would be fine if she just. kept. going.

"Speech"