-- they say world was built for two
10-07-2013, 11:44 PM
|
Walk | Talk | Think A part of her had secretly been hoping for a happy little conversation, one filled merely with catching up and considering where their small band might go from where they presently were. There had seemed enough things for the two of them to discuss rather than linger on those points that brought the most discomfort, the most unrest, to her lonely heart. Little did she know those would be the points in particular that Ocena would wish to dwell on. She was still smiling happily, unaware, as the black and white she-wolf answered her inquiry, admitting that she had been well though also going on to mention that the absence of her own mate, Gargoyle, was a burden on her heart. Mercianne knew all too well what that feeling was like, could feel it now as the subject was brought up. She could see his face within her mind, that of her own missing mate, a little fuzzy and warped by time, but the feeling of longing was ever present. Though she had begun to lose the memory she had of Awaken's quirks - his insecurities, his rashness, his strength and confidence - she missed most the sense of security, knowing that at least to one she was the most important creature in the world. A little Merci drifted into herself, dark brown eyes falling downcast and her ears moving to gently rest against her head in self-pity. The smile about her face had smoothed away into nothing, only her eyes carrying the little seed of sadness that Ocena's words watered into a creeping, suffocating weed. But even that died down quietly and rapidly as the conversation moved on to the pups. The pups. Despite there being so many of them, despite the necessity of caring for them all being such a tiring challenge, they had proven to be her saving grace. Without them, she was liable to have fallen into a worse sadness than what occasionally overcame her, left wholly and alone in the absence of her mate within the fractured remnants of their once marvelous and idealistic pack. But Ocena had neither meant to merely comment or pull forth thoughts better left at rest. Instead, she offered friendship and assistance, assuring her that she and those of her family would always be there for her should she ever need the help. The gesture was touching, enough so that the timid wolf was able to draw her expression into a little smile of gratitude, and for a moment she dared to lift her eyes and peek across at her friend and leader, recognizing within her expression a desire both to not offend but properly extend a paw for help should Mercianne need to take it. "Thank you," she murmured softly at first, not entirely certain of how else she ought to respond to the kindness left at her disposal. She had always counted Ocena and her family as among her friends, even if she hardly spoke with them regularly enough to warrant such feelings, but this only seemed to confirm for her that the feeling must have been mutual. "It has been difficult," she surprised herself by stating, going on to answer and speak about the topics that she had thought she wished to keep to herself. "They're so brave and ready to get out there and see everything. It's been all I can do to keep them close to home for this long." She added a short, quiet chuckle, the sadness again returning though not so strongly enough that she could not find her voice. "I wish they knew him. Awaken. There's only so much I can do on my own, and...I can't fill that father figure." Her words cut off then, feeling as if she had divulged perhaps a little too much of the inner turmoils that often plagued her mind when the pups were asleep and she stayed awake long to watch them for a while at rest. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to trouble you with this." Was this not exactly what she had been hoping against at the start of their conversation? Hoping Ocena might react better to it than she had, Merci let herself fall quiet, ears tucking themselves nervously tighter against her head with her dark brown eyes still downcast. |