anyone home?

Sparrow couldn’t say she wasn’t one for violence, she’d even grown up fighting with her own family members rough enough to leave scars. She did like to think, however, that she wasn’t volatile, and honestly, she wasn’t often. She hadn’t pushed towards Hanako, invaded her space, or thumped her on the chest. Sparrow wasn’t even sure if she felt ashamed for lashing out or proud that she hadn’t done more harm.

She stood there now, over her ex-lover, her heart bleeding all over again with each and every beat. Her eyes glued to the woman she once loved, every detail glaring back too mind-numbingly bright in the darkness of the barn. Her head hung low, almost too low for their personal space. A part of her wanted to bridge that gap between them, pull Hanako close to her and then bury herself in the smaller woman. The much bigger part of her knew she couldn’t anymore. She let out a shaky breath. She knew she shouldn’t and that they were in no way on good terms and she didn’t particularly want a war with the Armada, and yet her body heated, screamed for her to get closer. So she didn’t move an inch, didn’t give herself the momentum.

“I don’t know,” Hanako said as she shifted and Sparrow’s breath caught. She warred with herself, wanting just one more moment, just one more night, just one more that she had and one more that she deserved. She was a selfish pirate, after all, and they were allowed to have their desires. Titles aside, Hanako was still her lust.

With heavy, aching legs that only wanted to bend down, Sparrow pushed herself roughly onto her side beside Hanako and rolled onto her back to stare at the loft above. She didn’t look at anything in particular as Hanako continued. She said what she wanted had nothing to do with Sparrow. ”If you had just told me, not vanished or got grounded… If I hadn’t fought Azure just for you to tell me you loved him even though he had just come back… I don’t know… I’ve BEEN with others. I never expected you to not be with others, I just-“ Sparrow pressed her paws into her eyes, roughly dragging them down her face. ”I don’t know! I hated how he said you belonged to him, how you were gonna give him kids, how you were grounded and all that it felt so… bad. And maybe my parties got a little too out of hand and maybe I said things I shouldn’t have.”

Sparrow huffed and chanced a look at Hanako, just a little, ”It felt like you were kidnapped, but then that you LIKED it and it just didn’t feel like the you I knew. And maybe I never even really knew you, and maybe you never really knew me. And I looked everywhere to try to find someone like you, someone to make me feel that way, someone who looked like you or acted like you and it wasn’t ever even close.” Sparrow realized she was rambling and saying more than she meant to, but fuck it. ”And you’re off, happily married, kids, I’d guess. And I’m just… still here.”

Sparrow groaned and hauled herself onto her stomach, burying her face in her paws, ”Maybe neither of us are good people…”