I'll be your gravity, you be my oxygen

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
Malachai had been very aware of the shale that shifted under their paws, had been distracted by it almost to his own detriment, but the goat the pair had been stalking was close at hand now and for all he worried Malachai wanted to bring the hunt to an end as much as Grimshaw did. The plan was a simple enough one and he knew his boyfriend to be a skilled enough hunter to pull it off. The goat had eventually come bounding back up over the ridge and Malachai had started to give chase, expecting to see Grimshaw out of the corner of his eye but the man never returned, it only took a few seconds really, but it was enough for Malachai to know something was very wrong. Their meal was forgotten, his heart hammering in his chest as he skidded down the slope towards where he'd last seen Grimshaw heading.

The image of Grimshaw desperately clawing at the edge of the cliff would engrain itself into his mind, he would see it in his nightmares for years to come. Time seemed to move in moments for him then. He was desperately closing the distance between himself and Grimshaw, then his claws would dig into Grim's paws, his mismatched gaze wide in horror. Then Grimshaw's words, in that moment they'd felt like the world crashing down on him but in his memory, the exact wording would be fuzzy drowned out by the emotions surging through him. He managed an "I love you too." And then Grimshaw was gone, falling beyond his grasp. There would be two things that Malachai would never forgive himself for that day. The first was not leaning forward to grab Grimshaw by the scruff and haul him back over the precipice, the instability of the ground beneath him had paralyzed him, kept him from shifting his weight towards that hungry drop, and the second was letting go, Grimshaw was slipping and Malachai's claws tore at his fur and flesh as he slipped and at some point, Malachai let go... He hadn't wanted to, but in the fog of panic for some reason the damage being done to his boyfriend's forelegs had been the clearest thing to him...

What happened next Malachai could not say with total clarity, not even the order of events was totally clear to him, he'd managed to make his way down the mountainside safely, managed to get help, managed to get Grimshaw back to their room, had paced around their room as healers looked him over before they ended up kicking him out for being too overbearing while they worked, at some point he'd fallen asleep and had had to be poked awake by one of the healers. Grimshaw was stable but the exact extent of the damage was unknown, the tumble down the mountainside had left his body bruised and it was unclear exactly how much he'd hit his head, he was warned that there was a chance that if Grimshaw woke up that there might be severe memory loss. Malachai hadn't failed to notice the way they'd hit that if.

The days after had blurred together, Malachai hardly slept, he'd done his best to only take on jobs that wouldn't take him too far from their room, when he wasn't out doing that he didn't leave the bar area at all. This was the second time he'd had this feeling, the helpless fear of losing Grimshaw even when he was within physical touching distance.

That night the man was on the balcony, Grimshaw had been tended too earlier in the day and the healers had gently reminded Malachai that he needed fresh air too, Grimshaw's body was healing fine, he'd be sore for sure but provided he was able to get up and exercise in due time the man's muscles would recover. Malachai didn't bother to ask what would happen if he wasn't able to get up. The blue marked man stared up blankly at the night sky, the winter stars were as silent as they'd ever been but it was all he could think to do, he tried not to think of how much he wished Grimshaw was awake so they could watch the world together, tried not to think about how he couldn't seem to remember the exact words he'd last heard Grimshaw say, couldn't even seem to get his voice right in his head...

"Malachai?" The voice, raspy but lifting in panic made the man's chest tighten. Malachai did not think, he just moved, spinning around on his toes to rush back into the room, mismatched gaze instantly snapped to where Grimshaw was. "Grim!" Malachai breathed, the relief palpable in his voice. Malachai probably looked like shit, there were bags under his eyes and he'd probably lost a little weight, he'd hardly been able to stomach food after all. He approached the man, instantly wrapping himself around Grimshaw so that he was laid on his side, curling around the injured man. He'd laid like this for so many sleepless nights, just watching the rise and fall of the man's chest to assure himself that Grim was still breathing. "You-" Malachai wanted to say so much, wanted to say everything but instead the words that came out were probably pretty unexpected though they were heavy with the emotions Malachai was struggling to hold back, wavering though he did not cry.

"You asshole!" Malachai pushed his face into the ruff of fur around Grimshaw's neck, fighting back all the grief he'd been forced to carry, unsure if he would need to mourn his boyfriend. "This is the second time you've made me think I was going to lose you!"

every second i'm without you i'm a mess