Moonlight Madness

Ignis · 07-19-2022, 02:54 AM

"Nobody is asking you to be a saint." She wasn't yelling or screaming at him anymore. He hadn't quite noticed when she stopped doing that, but her statement and tone caught him off guard. Part of him wanted her to keep yelling and screaming at him. Wanted her to try and attack him again. His chest was still sore from when she had beat on him and pulled some fur it, but all that was left behind was a dull ache...both physically, and emotionally. Honestly, he had no fucking idea how he should be feeling right now.

She never turned her gaze away from his, "I have accepted you for who you are" He was...taken aback. Shocked. Confused. Struggling to figure out how to feel about this. A minute ago, he was sure he would push her to the point of her hating him. Had convinced himself that she did since day one. But with everything she said and kept saying, the confusion hit him like a ton of bricks, and now he didn't know if he was wrong or not. He stood there, speechless. Wanting to both tear his gaze away and leave her standing alone in the dark, but also to just...stay where he was. For the first time in a while, he was...speechless.

He was having a hard time grasping what was going on. Between them. His life. His feelings. His mind. Everything. "It's true; you haven't hurt me." He had before, but...now? "You haven't even forced yourself on me, which I know you can easily do. That's how I know you have some good in you. You aren't... you aren't a monster. Not really. A saint, no, but nobody is perfect. Least of all me. I poked and prodded you, but all you did was yell back" Her? Not perfect? Well sure, nobody was, he supposed. But he did notice that she seemed to...give herself less credit than was due. He felt a wave of...something he couldn't quite describe wash over his mind. Regret maybe? No...or maybe it was...he wasn't sure. It was true though...he could've done so much damage. Possibly even killed her here and now, and he would've dealt with any consequences later, and yet..."a-and even if I'm scared of that side... I know I'm not scared of you."

"Well...you should be...afraid..." He said at last. His mouth felt dry. His breathing hitched as he tried to simmer down. His hackles remained up, muscles tensed, but slowly, he averted his gaze from hers as he lowered his head towards the ground. Whether it was in shame or tiredness, he had no damn clue. An involuntary whine slipped past his lips. He wanted to believe her. Wanted to believe he wasn't as bad as he thought, but he couldn't help it. He had been convincing himself for quite a long time now that he was no good for anyone. Everyone he once loved in the past, hated him. That's what he told himself...And he wasn't sure how to handle the wave of emotions that threatened to drown him now.

"You...really should go...I...don't want to hurt you..." He was deathly afraid that He would come out. But even with all that had happened just minutes before, there was nothing but continued silence in his head. That coupled with what was going on in front of him, both greatly confused and frightened him. For once in what felt like months, he could hear his own, personal thoughts. And he had no idea how to handle it.

"Speech"

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Moonlight Madness

using for deer daddy + Eden

Ignis