Love Me or Hate Me

Ignis · 08-04-2022, 03:04 PM

He surveyed the plains, walking slowly as he crossed the creek, and remained careful and aware since he knew various types of serpents frequented the area. Would it...be so bad though? If he just...let one of the venomous ones take hold of him? To let them end the neverending suffering? Would their venom end the pain he longed to escape? He almost considered it enough to just fall here today. Ironic, no? To die in the lands where he had met his first crush. The first one he ever had feelings for. But he couldn't bring himself to make the decision. While he was not romantically involved with Eden, she carried his pups. He needed to keep himself alive long enough to at least determine which of those pups would be safe...and which would need to be destroyed if they turned out like him. It was a future he didn't look forward to in the slightest. And yet, he knew that if he tried to end the pain and suffering before his time, Blödhgarm would not let him do it. Ignis would forever be a prisoner. Mind, body, and soul. So what then? What kind of control over his own life did he truly have?

He took a deep breath, and at that moment he caught it. He froze, surprise tensing his muscles as he inhaled that familiar scent. How long had it been? How long ago had he tried desperately to seal away those memories only for them to emerge when Blödhgarm came for him? He didn't know if the remnants of these particular memories were the only thing that kept bringing him back. Kept him alive and surviving Blödhgarm's wrath each and everytime. Would he have succumbed and completely disappeared without them? To forever be buried by the sinister presence that had chained him long ago? He didn't know.

He wanted desperately not to look up. To keep his gaze on whatever path lay ahead. To forget anything and everything that had to do with his past. And yet...he just couldn't simply forget. Couldn't forget the happiness. The feelings he had during the times he spent with him. But also couldn't forget the pain that the one he had fallen in love with had chosen someone else. A stranger. Someone that Ignis knew absolutely nothing about. Someone that didn't deserve what Ignis craved. The feelings threatened to surface, prickling his fur. But he forced them down. At least for now.

His head lifted at last. And the scarred and bloodied creature that was a shell of his past self searched for the one he simply couldn't seem to ignore. He...looked the same. Seemingly untouched by the ravages of life, unlike himself. The only thing he was touched by was age. Ignis observed him for a heartbeat or two before finally speaking. "I see you're still hanging around here." He made no move to get closer. Afraid of what might happen if he did.

"Ignis"||"Blödhgarm"

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Love Me or Hate Me

Corvus

Ignis