What did you expect from me?

Bellamy · 08-05-2022, 08:18 PM

It hurt.

Gods it hurt bad.

The woman started to shake, the tears that had been streaming down her face not stopping, even now. A small part of her was crying out, desperately wanting this to stop. She didn’t want to get hurt. She was scared, scared of herself, scared of him. She could feel herself wavering, submitting, as the man pulled her close and whispered in her ear.

She didn’t hear the “someday” part of his words.

She felt like she was suffocating, the knife she had barely of any use at all. She was spinning, helpless, a child again… She couldn’t do anything right, could she? She was going to die, and she deserved it. She deserved it… but she was scared… She squeezed her eyes closed, not even fighting back anymore.

She was tossed to the earth, the knife slipping from her jaws. She didn’t move. She curled up, submissively, keeping her eyes squeezed closed. She expected that thing to keep coming. She expected claws and fangs to rain hurts upon her. She had acted out. She had tried to rise against her demons and for what? She failed… She deserved death… she…

Her head was swimming, barely able to process what was going on anymore. She barely opened her eyes, bleary with tears. It wasn’t just the battle against Ignis that she had lost… Her spirit was breaking, a sound so loud, so earth-shatteringly loud that despite the other two not being able to hear it, it deafened her. She shifted on the ground, but she didn’t see Eden the way she was. She saw another thing, tendrils lifting to the air, though this one was light, whereas the other was pure shadow.

Leave.

The command hit her hard.

Go where? Somewhere deep inside Bellamy cried.

What home did she have? Who did she honestly have to turn to? She didn’t deserve the chances she’d gotten. She didn’t deserve to be spared. She didn’t look at either of them, staggering to her paws on her injured limb.

“You should have let him finish me.” There was a major shift in her tone from the woman that had spoken before. Quiet, defeated, broken… “You’d have done the world a favor.” She wasn’t going back to Gavroche. She couldn’t. Not now… not…

It felt like her head was swaying gain.

She grabbed her knife, staggering.

Shame, you’re too much of a coward to end it yourself, aren’t you?

That voice, that damned voice, it kicked the woman when she was already down, bringing that sinking feeling lower.

That’s the real reason you went at her, isn’t it? To have someone put you out of your damned misery. Because you’re too scared to do it yourself.

A few hobbling steps… Ears lowered, body screaming…

Pathetic woman,

Another couple of steps.

You deserve to suffer. You never cared about them. Your parents, your sisters, the other slaves... all you cared about was continuing to live because you’re too scared to die!

It was slow going, but she was moving away from them, the battle between her and Ignis but her mind refusing to let up, even now.

You deserve this. You’ve always deserved this.

…and, unless stopped, she was gone.

/ Exit

"Speech" 'Thought.'

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What did you expect from me?

Eden, Ignis

Bellamy