I've swallowed myself but the fever remains

Bellamy · 08-07-2022, 12:42 AM

Bellamy let out a grunt at Bae-Syl’s response. Of course they wouldn’t. She knew it well enough, she had been counting on the youth to not open his mouth and say anything. But, of course, he had to have that white-knight sort of personality. Bellamy let out a grunt of response. She just had to get involved with someone like Gav, have a kid… Lucette had already been afraid when she saw her angry… what would her daughter say to know she had lunged for a pregnant woman? That she got her ass handed to her by some man that she hated for hurting the only other person who dared to care about her? Bellamy growled, hating herself, and hating them.

“...?!” His question, however… caused Bellamy to visibly flinch as she looked back at him with wide eyes. “You… you see them!?” Hearing that was a small sense of relief for the distressed female. She tried to twist, to get to her belly, as she fixed Bae-Syl with a serious look.

“I was sure Chaos’ madness had taken me. I could feel myself slipping… mortals… we’re not supposed to see them… not the Divinities, not Guardians or Dreamends, not even their helpers… yet…” Bellamy’s gaze fell to her paws, the pain enough to make her waver as a whimper fell from her lips.

“I saw them as I left the fight, the fight that left my shoulder looking like shit.” She didn’t look towards the injury now as she spoke, keeping her eyes on Bae. “The forsaken Divinities… the lost twins…” Her voice had become quiet. “Delusion and Calamity… speaking their name is an ill omen… yet I doubt it can get much darker than where I am now.” She lowered her gaze.

“The chimeric one showed themselves to me… a promise of corruption for those whose hearts are already tainted with insanity and malice… But… they’re not the only one I saw…” Bellamy was shaking again.

“I saw the lynx too, their helper… The one known as Chaos. He’s here now…” She looked off to their tight, ears pinning back against her skull. In her vision, she could see the shadowy figure of the mutated lynx. “He doesn’t approach, but he’s here, waiting, waiting for a chance…” Another whine slipped past her lips. “I don’t want… I can’t let these things get Gavroche or Lucy… I can’t…” She flicked her attention back to Bae-Syl, pleading with him again.

“You need to run, and keep Lucette far away from me, do you understand!?” Her voice raised again. “I’m a monster! I’ve killed before, innocents, I’ll do it again!” She squeezed her eyes tightly closed as she continued to shake.

“I can’t let that happen… I can’t… let these things make me get them…!” She gritted her teeth. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotions she felt right now. She was lost, and struggling, giving in to her own inner demons. She felt like there was no way back… no saving herself this time…

…and that nagging voice deep within told her she deserved it.

"Speech" 'Thought.'

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