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Usagi

Loner

Master Fighter (245)

Advanced Hunter (103)

An icon representing the specialty Weaponsmaster Weaponsmaster

age
5 Years
gender
Male
gems
139
size
Medium
build
Light
posts
182
player
Talia

Samhain 2022Statue 4 Worship
08-12-2022, 01:23 PM
Each look the two boys gave him was a knife in the gut. First with Kunai saying he shouldn’t stay, the next with Kuroo eying with with suspicion and a puzzlement over those words. Stab stab. It hurt his gut, his chest. Oh gods, he wasn’t one for self-doubt, but he felt he screwed up big time. This wasn’t how he imagined it in his head. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Part of him wanted to get angry at Kunai, yell at him for wanting to leave after Usagi had done everything in his power to make the maze a comfortable home for him. The fear of abandonment was strong and his mossy gaze could no longer remain so blank, the hurt clouding his eyes - not with tears, but with pure hurt. He was hurt that Kunai would consider leaving. Leaving Kuroo. But above all, leaving him. He loved him too much to let him go. And yeah, he made mistakes - ones he now had to clean up after, like shattered ceramic one after another. But these pieces were so small and so many, mentally he was scrambling to clean up the mess he made.

Angry at himself, angry for not being able to just out and say it. He loved Kunai. So, so much. He believed a piece of his soul would be missing with the chimera decided to leave the maze, forever. The Hohei looked at the two of them, their words said. He swallowed thickly, smoothing over the uneasy lump in his throat. "Kunai.." He began, realizing his voice had softened. He cursed himself internally. It was a voice of desperation. Don’t leave. Don’t leave me. And the words tumbled out, one after another in a clumsy heap. But they were said.

"I love you."

It was love. Kuroo and Usagi were brothers, so that love they had for each other was familial, a sibling forged bond. No, these words he’d spoken out loud to Kunai were the love they had been withholding from each other, like something taboo or dangerous. But it wasn’t. Damnit, he fucking loved that chimera. Always had, always would. He’d never be the same without him here. He took another deep breath, avoiding Kuroo’s standoffish gaze, knowing forgiveness for his actions wouldn’t magically appear overnight. He looked at Kunai again, into those eyes he’d glanced into all those times. Hidden gems, a beautiful soul.

"Nobody will force you to stay. You know that. But.." He shifted on his forelegs from where he said. He was terrible at emotional talks. It showed. At least his best efforts would glean against his clumsy speeches. "I don’t know if I would ever forgive myself if you did." It was his idea to bring them all here. To clear the air. But in classic awkward Usagi fashion, he felt he had only fogged it up further, the metaphorical sky unrecognizable. Kuroo was right, this mainly lay between him and Kunai. But he almost hoped his brother would stay. Even if he was angry, just to show some form of support. This was hard. Really damn hard. His hurt eyes and brow furrowed as he glanced into Kunai’s face, as if searching for the words before they were ever spoken. His resolve was cracking. But he wouldn’t cry. Not again.

"Kunai Speech." & "Usagi Speech."

wishing there was something left to lose
this could be the day i die for you—