Here in the shadows of you

All she had wanted was to get her way into the Hallows. Once Briar had told her of the pack, and what she would find here it had been her dream. Joining the pack had kept her busy as she build a small garden and learned to cook. But as the days wore on to weeks and months she found herself feeling oddly disjointed to her life. Like she was a spector, looking in to the lives of others. She watched as wolves around her found love, and built their lives. She felt like she stood on the outskirts of it all. She wasn't sure what she wanted, or how to break through. Sometimes, it felt like a part of her wanted to scream at the stillness of her life. To scream "look at me, I'm here, I exist!" Sometimes it felt like her entire life would amount to nothing.

She had expected to find a version of heaven here in the Hallows, yet all she she felt was a sw sensation of drowning. She awoke often to night terrors. Rising sweating and shaking and making her way to her little garden. Digging in the soft soil in the wee hours of the morning, simply trying to _feel_ something. Who was she? Who was Idalia? And it frightened her that she didn't know.

It was one such night that found her out there now. Digging her paws through the damp earth. Grounding herself, as through planting a Lia-shaped tree. She shook a little, a cool wind whooshing through her coat, but it wasn't the cold that affected her.