friend circle

Kuroo was the first to respond to his uncertain words and Kunai shook his head, knowing they hadn't brought it up or maybe even considered it as the best option. However, from Kunai's point of view, it was the only option. Clearly him coming here had brought something between them and the last thing he wanted to do was tear his two friends apart. He was the third wheel in this group, at least now if not before. They were young before, but now they were adults and he felt so selfish for spending all this time looking for them when they had so easily moved on without him. They'd grown apart from Kunai by force, something he now understood as something he should have just let be.

Kunai was shaking his head as Kuroo voiced his final thoughts, disagreeing completely. "Clearly me coming here has brought something between you two and I can't─" a lump formed in his throat and he paused to swallow it and steady himself before continuing. "I can't be the reason," he shook his head more and stared at his paws through watering, tightly closed eyes.

Usagi said his name but he couldn't bring himself to look at the man yet, mismatched eyes squeezed shut. "I love you." Words he'd always wanted to hear, dreamed of hearing. But dreams weren't real, and this was starting to look like the worst nightmare his asshole brain could've come up with. His heart raced, but with it so did his brain and all the horrible things his parents shouted at him growing up.

His breathing became somewhat erratic as he panicked, toes flexing and digging into and out of the earth to fidget. It wasn't working though, and as his parents threats and snide remarks haunted him to this day. Even with Usagi admitting his real feelings, Kunai was afraid. What would everyone else think? What about Kuroo?! He couldn't bring himself to look and find out for himself.

Instead, he visibly vibrated in his seat. He couldn't sit still as the panic washed over him, the shock of his dream coming true and living in a nightmare immobilizing him only for a moment but that moment felt like an eternity to the damaged man. He didn't speak, he didn't even make a sound. Suddenly, he was just up and running. He didn't know where, just away. Away from the stress of what he was doing to their relationship, away from Usagi admitting his feelings, away from all of it.

The tears started as soon as his back had turned on the brothers, preventing him from making it too far before the tears completely blurred his vision. He pawed at his face in an attempt to dry his tears and see but it was hardly any use. He slumped down suddenly, giving up in a heap of himself on the ground and burying his face in his paws.

"Kunai Speech." & "Usagi Speech."