You Went Away

He knew how it would sound when he told Chrys that Desdemona was just a friend of his. He knew it was the truth. His white she-wolf counterpart was just a friend, a good one at that despite just recently having met. But that was the assumption anytime a brute was found with an unmated female; they were mates. That wasn't the truth though, as much as he wanted it to be. He liked Desdemona, he really honestly did. She was beautiful and powerful and amazing despite whatever happened in her past. Yes, she seemed to be a little older than him, but she never made him feel like that. To him, it was like they were equals. He was comfortable around her which made him want to be around her whenever he could. And in his obsession with his twin he'd forgotten all about the young clayed faced youngster. Huge mistake on his part, big time.


Audits twtiched, bi-colored gaze lifting to meet her azure gaze as she spoke. He knew Collision would have accepted him regardless of whatever was plaguing him, but now that he thought about it, he just wasn't ready to join a pack yet. He'd been so caught up with Chrysanthe and how she reminded him so much of his sister that he hadn't thought it out entirely. It was only when he'd actually gotten to the meeting that he'd realized he'd jumped into a bit too quickly. His ears pinned themselves flat against his skull as Chrys spoke of she too not having rejected him. Damn, he was the biggest douche bag in the world right now. It consoles me to know that you wouldn't have, but in all honesty Chrysanthe, I don't believe I was truly ready to commit to a pack. It's just... He took a deep breath, straightening out his shoulders, lifting his head so it was level with them before he continued. You remind me so much of my sister, Luna, who died about a year ago. She was very much like you in personality, always happy and very, very curious. You would've liked her if you'd met her. Everyone did. The way she died though...it wasn't exactly how I would've liked for my baby sister to have gone. In my mind it was my fault and it will always be my fault, no matter what anyone says. I left my homeland because it was too much for me and I struck out, trying to start fresh and that's how I ended up here in Valhalla, consequently running into you. I was so surprised at the similiarity between you and Luna that I automatically took a liking to you. To me, it was like you were my little sister, only in a different body. I was so caught up with that fact that I didn't think things through. I wanted to join you and start a friendship with you and I thought going along with your invitation was the best way to set that in motion. It wasn't until I got there that I realized that I really wasn't ready and so I left. It was the biggest mistake for me not to have bid you goodbye before I left and I will always hold that against myself. After I left I ran into Desdemona and we started talking and she...she was just different. There's something between us, something I don't know how to explain that just draws me to her. My feelings for her were unexpected and developed quickly, yet I have not acted on them for fear of moving too fast and the uncertainty of them being reciprocated. We are truly just friends for now, I can assure you. Only time will tell if this friendship will turn into more.


He lowered his head once again once he'd finished talking, realizing that he'd basically just poured his heart out to her, something he hadn't done with anyone else, not even Desdemona. He wasn't about to take it back though, it felt somewhat liberating to have finally talked about Luna. His ears swiveled forward as her voice breached the atmosphere, speaking of how she forgave him and that he should be more confident in his choices. It's not that I feel I made the wrong choice because I don't think I did. The thing is that I went about the wrong way of executing that choice and as a result unintentionally hurt you, something I never wanted to do. She continued on to say that she had wanted him there because she'd never run into someone like him. So he was different? From the way she spoke it sounded like that was something she liked about him enough to want to start some kind of kinship with him. His crown lowered again as she spoke of having thought he'd lost interest; in her maybe? I had changed my mind about joining Valhalla, but I had never changed my mind about you Chrysanthe. I know my stupidity probably makes you think twice now about wanting to get to know me, but I still want to get to know you, if you're willing. I appreciate your forgiveness and if you're willing, I'd like to start over again. If the offer is still up, I'd love to go exploring with you, whether it be your new home or some other place, whatever you want to do I'll do it. Or if you decide you don't want to anymore, I completely understand. Whatever you decide I will accept wholeheartedly.


Damn, he'd practically stripped himself of all his dignity and thrown himself on the ground for her forgiveness. And yet, he didn't care. She'd been the first wolf ever in Alacritis to take interest in him and he had treated her horribly. He would do everything and anything to repair the damage he'd done. He didn't want to loose Chrys, even she really hadn't been his to loose in the first place.


Talk like this