In Too Deep
Rowan + Lucian
08-30-2022, 07:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-30-2022, 07:51 PM by Rowan. Edited 1 time in total.)
It was like waking up from a dream, only in reverse. Unreality pulled at him, disparate facts suddenly lined up like stars in a constellation, the image clear, the facts irrefutable. He couldn’t un-see, couldn’t un-know, and now that he did he felt stupid for not realizing all along. Of all the conflicting emotions in his chest, the one he recognized most clearly was shame. What was the source? Lucian? Often he’d felt ashamed in regards to Lucian, but almost never had he been the cause of it. Maybe it was guilt then, instead, guilt at what he could or could not have done. Rowan bit down all of it, a cocky smirk breaking the exhaustion from his features, if only for a moment. He was so used to the way his name sounded on his father’s tongue that he’d truly forgotten how differently it could be pronounced, how soft the sounds could be. It sounded alien to hear it again after so long, like it was someone else’s name, someone he’d known, but a long, long time ago. “What, you don’t know your own name?” he said mirthlessly. There was a smile on his face, sure, but nothing in his tone, nothing in his gaze, not even ice, just a vacant lack of recognition. He wanted to lie and claim he was someone else- or maybe he just wanted to be someone else. He’d ran away for reason, for change, and he’d changed- but he couldn’t remember what for. All this, and he felt the irony of his life being what it was, he’d probably still drown. At least drowning would spare him the awkwardness of this so-called ‘reunion.’ Around them, the sky roared its displeasure, wind shaking their artificial walls, shaking the trees themselves, but the structure held and they didn’t get much wetter than they’d already been. They had to raise their voices just to be heard, and already he could feel himself growing hoarse. “I thought you’d be dead by now,” he said, reluctantly resisting the urge to lie about his name, if only because he didn’t have another one in mind. |
Current time: 11-21-2024, 09:34 PM
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