So Much Harder To Leave

Alastor had already given her a young life that he may not have had. Killing Kefka was what had set her free. She was thankful for that, she wouldn't have to tell him again. Without Kefka she could live openly and without fear, or at least the fear of what her father may have had in mind with her. Relm was always worried, scared that Manea would hit her last nerve. That Alastor wouldn't want her anymore. That something would happen and they couldn't be this way anymore. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't wholly what she wanted with Alastor. But it was enough, it felt like enough when they were together like this.

She was too lost inside her thoughts to really notice his silence, his true thought to her reactions. Because it was important to her to do everything she could to be here with him even at the cost of being untrue to herself and giving up a happiness for her life as a whole. Manea had given her that hint of interest in her if only in the heat of a hunt, she didn't quite feel the same way though. It didn't feel the same as how she tried to find other men to replace Alastor. She wouldn't really feel herself initiating it on her own.

If only subtle, she fell into Alastor as he drew closer to her. He could sense the feeling of relief in her as she gently pushed back into him. Maybe it was just the build up of her tension wanting him to touch her but everything felt so right when she found herself wound in him. Her eyes moved a careful glance over his face just to catch the way he looked at her when he spoke. But she mostly kept her gaze down towards the ground or down where they connected. That changed as he paused, her light eyes looking back up towards his closed eyes and soft expression. Her paws gently grasping back around him too as they shifted inside the temporary den. She didn't say anything at first. A way of life but also maybe a habit she had grown used to with him. The way she held her breath, held onto him, it was enough for him to know she was struggling. She wouldn't leave it at that this time though. Alastor deserved more. She dropped her head into his chest maybe in a way to hide her emotions from him. She never wanted to seem weak or desperate to him, even if he didn't see her that way. It was how she saw herself. "I can't always feel this way, Al." It was no news to the two of them. As he had said, Manea would always be that constant. Relm knew she couldn't have Alastor to herself the way Manea did, or at least that she did most of the time. It wasn't necessarily that she wanted Alastor to herself, but in a way she wanted to switch places with Manea. She did wonder how life, and how their relationship would be different. Different than it was now and different than his and Manea's. She'd never feel more like she belonged somewhere when Alastor was wrapped around her. But being away from him, living an average life while he had duties to his wife and children, he'd feel it was extremely hard for her. He wanted her to be truly, wholly happy. It would never happen.

"Relm"