All that matters

Avacyn let the feeling of his paws running along her back soothe her even a little bit while she considered all of the possibilities, grasping at straws to try and find a way to make a life that the two of them could be happy with. It was difficult and messy and walking a lot of fine lines, but she was willing to walk them if he was willing to walk them with her. She already knew that he wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything less than everything and he confirmed as much when he admitted that whatever she offered could never be enough, making her ears fold back with dejected worry until he sighed and added that he would rather have something than nothing at all. She breathed a soft sigh of relief, giving him a grateful look as she leaned in to press another loving kiss to his lips. She knew that if it came down to it, if worse came to worse, she could continue on and live her life without him. She could be the dutiful Matriarch, take the handpicked match she was offered to replace her soul mate that could never be, and continue on the Mendacium line as she was destined to do. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to live that life without Saracyn. That possibility had run through her mind when she was laying in her room, figuring out her next move, and she had been miserable even considering it as a possibility. Without Saracyn her world felt dark and she could never thank him enough for trying to be with her regardless of how difficult it would be.

She thought and considered for a moment longer before she told him, "There is no obligation for a Mendacium wolf to be romantically involved with the wolf chosen to be the parent of their children," she recited off softly, a small frown tugging at her lips. "Of all of the things we want, having pups with you is probably the one thing that our family simply couldn't forgive. Plus, there's just too much at stake... Our pups could have terrible deformities and I don't know if I could subject them to a life like that..." She wanted to believe that if they were truly soul mates the way they felt they were then the Ancients wouldn't let that happen to their children, but she was too logical to really fall for that thinking. It was wishful and hopeful, but ultimately a risk she wasn't willing to make. "The rules and ranks for the pack are things I can move and change once I've taken power... I can make you my Commander, we can lead the pack together side by side," she assured him, trying to pick out pieces of his grand vision for their future that she could actually control. "Just... let me separate my husband and my soul mate. I will have a husband that can sire my pups, but you will be my soul mate... The one that my soul will be tied to when we go back to the Ancients. You will be the only one that I will share that ceremony with." Yes, she knew that this directly broke the law that stated they would never find their soul mate among their siblings, but how could Saracyn not be her soul mate when he mate her feel like this? How could he not be her soul mate when he felt like the piece that made her whole?

She let him consider it all for a moment, combing her claws through the fur along the side of his neck as her eyes scanned his face, waiting to see if they could find a compromise that would at least keep him at her side. "I can give you power, I can give you my heart, and my soul... Is that enough?" she questioned softly and hopefully, her soft paw pads tracing across the white edge of his ear. "Can you be happy living with me like this?" For someone like her that held so tightly to convictions and the laws that had been thought to her since they were born even making these concessions fro him should speak volumes for what she was willing to do for him, but she didn't want Saracyn to continue to feel as if he wasn't getting what he deserved. She was caught in the middle of her love and care for this wolf that made up her other half and the responsibility and succession that she had been born into and now she was being forced to give up bits of both in order to have some of each.

"Avacyn Mendacium"