Avoid the process of the food Chain
03-07-2013, 09:32 AM
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| style='font: 10px georgia; line-height: 100%; padding:15px;'> ?When this monster entered my brain, I will never know, but it is here to stay. How does one cure himself? I can?t stop it, the monster goes on, and hurts me as well as society. Maybe you can stop him. I can?t." Pathetic, that was what I was. He convinced me that it was true, through and through. He reminded me daily that failure now seeped through my veins, it coursed through my blood. How could I not accomplish something so easy? It was a task that didn't necessarily require brains if I do say so myself, and yet I failed? A low and barely audible sigh escaped the depths of my chest, only to exit from my lips with a simple cloudy puff of air against the chilled surroundings. All I had to do was kill her, snap her little neck, hell even simple eternal damage would suffice, but could I do it? No! What the hell was wrong with me. 'You're weak, love.' His voice now more apparent then ever before. Before I had left I was able to tune him out, not all the time but most of the time. However after spending a year or so alone, just him and I, such a thing became nearly impossible, he some how now overrides my own thoughts. Making it virtually impossible to tune him out. I couldn't even argue with him, I was weak. My cranium remained low due to an increased feeling of shame. A feeling that was so powerful, and unavoidable. Perhaps I couldn't kill her off because of some feeling deep down inside? Maybe that was why I hadn't put my all into it. The last litter I had was simple, I simply crushed there weak fragile skulls with my own canines feeling no remorse from it. However they were nothing to me but a simple product of rape, nothing worthy to keep around. I had killed their undeserving father just as easily. But with Xenios it was different. She was out of love in a way. A perfect combination of both Ulrike, and I. Like a concision brewed to perfection. Of course I still didn't want her anywhere around me, but the feelings I had been battling that were brought on by her birth were more then confusing. There was just something about the young pup, however I still left and that alone was a sign of weakness. It means that deep down inside where there was once no emotions some were brewing. And to possess such emotions were weak in itself. My own thoughts kept traveling back in time trying to unravel it all. Figure it out, but nothing was coming to mind as to why this was happening. Why now? A growl in simple agitation erupted from my lips as I trudged through the much that seemed to suction to my legs like little suction cups. The slurping and squishing sounds following my every move. I had been residing here, in the swamps since my disappearance. The disgusting aroma masking the old scent of Tortuga until it was no longer noticeable. Mud caked my hide, dried onto my back due to the suns violent rays when it did peak around the thick coverings of the land. For all I knew Tortuga was lost, wiped off the face of the earth. Hell I didn't even know if there were any survivors. The old place was nothing but ash and debris when the volcano spewed it's disastorious venom. That one large ear did nothing but offer a twitch, as I listened to the sounds around me. Nothing unusual. Just the same old shit day after day. The flattering of the cranes wings, the occasional sliding sound that was offered by a alligator sliding from the land to the murky waters.. That was it. This place in itself was a death trap, full of its own predators. One had to be on their pee's and que's to avoid the venomous sting offered by the various water snakes, that brought on a slow and very detailed death. And the last thing one wanted was to step where a alligator lingered just waiting to clamp its powerful jowls around a limb. I was beginning to memorize this place like the back of my own paw. Knowing where it was safe, and where to avoid. It was a matter of life or death out here. |
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