Time is Running Out

The pain of those words caught him, but an answer came surprisingly swift. “It doesn't have to be old to mean something. Pick something. Some flowers, some stones. Something you’ve held and made you think of that child. I can distribute them, after.. And they can remember that you thought of them.” He had to stop. The words were too much of what was to come, as if he had already accepted it. He knew he would be frantic. Desperately searching until the last second for something that would save her. Even as he knew that it couldn’t let it take him from her side. That he might miss even a single moment from now until then. It would be hard enough giving her the space she needed to say goodbye to others. When all he wanted to do was treasure her and hold her close.

“Stop. No sorries, my love. You have been everything in my world. A hurricane, a slow burn. A confidente, a lover, a friend. There's no role you haven’t held in my life.” Resent them? He remembered how hard it had been to look at Briar when he had thought he’d lost her the first time. He couldn’t… he couldn’t let it come to that. Not again.

At her next words he made a strangled sound. She wanted to leave them even earlier than what time the illness would give them? She wanted… He thought of her body slowly failing her, of weakness and confusion. He thought of Resin, and he thought of what he would want. If it were him. He sobbed, deep in his chest as he realised she had already thought of her death, already knew how she wanted to go. She had had those thoughts alone, without him to hold her. Because… she was afraid he would not let her choose. He didn’t answer. Not for a while. He sobbed into her coat, holding her and wishing for all the time in the world. A hundred years wouldn’t be enough. Not for him and Zee. “I would not take that from you.” He said at last, when he could manage the words. “So long as I can be there. I can’t. I can’t miss a second of what time I have. I can’t let you do it without me.”


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