I've Been Thinking, I Want You To Be Happier

The last week feels like a blur to the purple pup with snippets of emotion standing more than actual moments. There had been a heaviness around them, around her parents in particular as they seemed to be hiding a secret. But Andy knew something was wrong, she saw it in the way the other adults at the castle looked at her and her siblings with quiet looks of pity that she could not understand. Sure, her mother, Zee, was sick but she would get better. Sick people always got better. Oh, what a youthful folly that had been.

Maybe if their parents had talked about it more, the dark cloud that had been growing over the Fatalis family wouldn’t have seemed so foreboding. But they decided to hide the truth and, with that buried secret, came a yawning, unfathomable sense of dread. There were nights Andromeda was afraid to sleep because the feeling was palpable, like someone had settled a heavy blanket over her chest and it was difficult to breathe. She would startle awake, at other times, with her heart thundering in her chest as she searched for something that was missing but would find everyone there.

The days leading up to Zee’s passing had become oppressive, the feeling almost choking her even when in the presence of her family. Andy noticed that, everyone she talked to at the castle was… off. Whether in their words that seemed too forced or the smiles that not quite reach their eyes, she knew something was… off. That is when the dread become a physical wedge of fear that lodged itself in her stomach. Food tasted like ash and, even what she was able to choke it down for appearances sake, it would make her tummy roll in anger. The hours grew long, the anxiety building even as she hid it the best she could.

Then, mom and dad had gone on a short trip and, for the briefest time, everything felt normal. Or, to be more accurate, as normal as they had felt before Zee grew sick. Those few, untroubled hours, Andy was able to play like normal, laugh and joke, stalk her siblings and even eat a full meal. Over the next several days, she would reply those hours over and over again as she tried to understand the new, gaping hole that would settle into her life. Dad had come home, distraught and, more noticeably to the purple pup, without mom.

In that moment, every emotion, every ounce of anxiety she had felt, made complete and utter sense. When dad had gathered them together to share that Zee was gone and the pups all went through their own emotions. But Andy had sat in the background, no tears falling, no emotion on her features as she just… observed. While she might not understand why Zee is gone she completely understands the feeling that her absence leaves behind. That is what she latched onto, the lack of her mother in her life from that day forward.

No more stories about stars from her, no more laughter moments with her, no more Zee. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and the purple pup tries to act normal because she doesn’t really understand the dark pit of unending sadness that had opened in her chest. She tries to push it away, bury it somewhere where she can visit it at another time but she just… can’t. It hounds her hour after hour, minute after agonizing minute, until she has to release it. It is well into the night when she slips from the room the family is using, careful to make sure no one is following her. She leaves the castle, checking and double checking that her father’s companions are not trailing after her.

But, once she hits the gardens, she breaks into a run. However, Andromeda does not go far, just to the grassy ocean that surrounds the castle, where the clear autumn night does not obscure the stars above. There she collapses and releases the sobs that had been building inside her until they hurt her chest. She cries at the unfairness of it all and questions why her mother had to leave. There in the grass, she pleads with anyone who is listening to let her mother come home, praying the fervent, misguided prayers of a child who misses their parent. She cries until she has no more tears, until her head pounds and her eyes are gritty. With her mother’s face firmly in her minds eye, Andy drops into a deep slumber.


-awakens in a strange, dark area-

Awareness comes in degrees for Andromeda as the purple pup swims her way up through water. However, as she paddles, the pup quickly becomes aware that there is no water around her. In fact, her legs aren’t even moving. Blinking open her pale blue eyes, Andy is greeted by darkness. Moving to stand, the pup notices that her body feels heavy and far away, as if her mind has disconnected from it entirely. However, she doesn’t have to dwell on the sensation as a bright orb of green light suddenly zips by her. She startles, lurching sideways as the dark fades away to allow the light’s passing before taking hold once it is gone.

Curiosity has her tilting her head and Andy takes a tentative step forward, wishing to follow the fading light. However, before she has the chance, it fully disappears, plunging the area once more into the dark. Softly, tentatively, the pup calls out, “Hello?” Another orb of green light appears but this one moves toward her, stopping to illuminate her and the grass underneath her paws. Head tilts as she looks at the green orb and it seems to tilt slightly in response. Blinking owlishly, she says, “Can you take me to my mom?” The orb dances in the air which Andy is uncertain what it means but, as it turns to leave, she takes it to mean ‘follow after me’.

Purple paws race after the light, galloping across the dark grassy plains in impossibly long strides. A smile grows on her lips as they move, the joy of seeing her mom again and perhaps bring her mom home has her heart lifting. She isn’t certain when it happens but the grass falls away and the pair now race across a starry bridge. An indistinct, wavy form appears in front of her and Andy barks in joy as the light zips by, disappearing without warning. Pulling to a stop near the form, she looks around, realizing that the bridge is made of stars and it now illuminates the night. Looking at the hazy wolf, Andy happily chirps, “Mommy! Mommy! Follow me! I’ll take you home!”

With that, Andromeda turns around and beings to lope back the way she had come, stopping to make sure the form is following her from time to time. The bridge disappears but the light stays as the pair make their way back. Andy spies her sleeping form and leads her mother over to it, saying, “Okay, I’m going to wake up now. Come back with me!” With a happy wag, she steps back into her body and circles before laying down and closing her eyes.


-awakens back on the plains-

This time Andy awakens quickly, bouncing up onto her paws to find the form of a wolf near her. Bounding up to she calls, “Mommy! Mommy!” However, as the figure turns, it becomes abundantly clear that this is not her mother. Skidding to a stop, tears welling in her already red and swollen eyes, Andy chokes out, “You’re not my mommy.” Despair crashes back into Andromeda as the expanse that is between her and Zee only seems to grow wider.



WC: 1289


"Andromeda Fatalis"