can you bind my heart
11-04-2022, 06:41 AM
Deathbelle couldn’t stop thinking about Hari since that day she swore that she saw his face. The vibrant yellow of the dandelion and the placement of the blueberry were nothing special, but she knew she had seen him there. She had felt him there, heard him call her name on the breeze. Or she thought she had, now that she had witnessed the sacred fires Belle wasn’t so sure she wasn’t going crazy. The feeling of the veil being dropped could have been from the magic of the gods, or her own deteriorating mind. Deathbelle couldn’t be certain, not when reality shifted and waved before her very eyes. Perhaps this was another fever dream like the long night had been, but maybe it was something else. A chance to touch the beyond. Something she had craved for a very long time.
She wondered sometimes if she should have perished in her brother’s place, how much anguish would she have saved if the inverse had happened. She wouldn’t have seen half the heartbreak, and Hari’s sons would have had him. She called for him that night, knowing that there would be no answer. Her voice desperately called into the forests, tears streaming down her face. Her hoarse voice more cathartic than useful in her seeking. Harbringr’s name echoed through the sparse wood, rustling the dead autumn like leaves and making Belle sound more like a ghost than the man that she sought.
Her speckled paws swept through the dead grasses as tears fell from her royal purple eyes. All of the sorrow and heartache that rested on her shoulders weighed even more heavily now as she let the walls down and the emotions rolled over her in massive waves. She relived the devastating mistakes of her life and she mourned the wolves that were taken from her. Of all of them she felt Hari was the closest now. She missed her brother deeply, one of the pillars that she had leaned on for so long. The sibling that she adored and the one that had been taken far too soon. She had committed too many sins to feel the presence of her once husband, the connection between the two of them was all but fully dissolved and that fact made the tears fall faster.
Age should have helped her to keep control of herself, but she had been holding back the emotions for so long that they were overwhelming now. She had put on a strong face, she had made the attempt to be there for Recluse, but really she was just a useless husk now. The once powerful Empress was now completely helpless. She held no power, she didn’t even have the capability to hold herself together. She was a complete failure, to her pack, to her family, and to her name. Why would her brother wish to see her anyway, even if she managed to call him here?
Self doubt took over the emotions within, the sorrows the guilt, all overwhelmed as she was forced to her haunches. Deathbelle lowered her head as a creeping fog began to move in. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears fell from her eyes, streaked down her cheeks, and began to pool in a golden orange leaf at her paws. The soft sobs rocked her body as she gave up. The thin veil was so thin that surely if she just let go that she would finally be able to cross over, to finally be free of the pain and turmoil within her.
Her broken heart cried out, Deathbelle wept there in the middle of the forest. The mists began to accumulate around her and small little blinking fireflies began to glow within the thick air vapor. Deathbelle’s eyes were closed and she did not see the change in her surroundings as she cried for death, she wept to the reaper, she bared her soul to the great beyond.
Yet it was still not her time, there was still some life left to give, and she would not be given a quick or easy end. The tears that pooled at her paws began to shimmer and change, the fireflies surrounding her began to close in, drawn to the shimmering liquids. One quiet glowing insect landed on her nose, causing her to blink open her bleary eyes. Her head lifted, and the lightning bug lifted from her muzzle, but as her eyes opened she realized the difference in scenery before her.
She sniffed softly, the tears falling from her eyes until they were dry, they pooled in the leaf at her feet, and her eyes followed a stray firefly to the tiny pool. Surprise shocked her again, as she saw Hari’s face instead of her own reflecting back at her. She lost her breath, and again questioned her sanity as she sobbed softly at the sight of her beloved sibling.
wc:820
She wondered sometimes if she should have perished in her brother’s place, how much anguish would she have saved if the inverse had happened. She wouldn’t have seen half the heartbreak, and Hari’s sons would have had him. She called for him that night, knowing that there would be no answer. Her voice desperately called into the forests, tears streaming down her face. Her hoarse voice more cathartic than useful in her seeking. Harbringr’s name echoed through the sparse wood, rustling the dead autumn like leaves and making Belle sound more like a ghost than the man that she sought.
Her speckled paws swept through the dead grasses as tears fell from her royal purple eyes. All of the sorrow and heartache that rested on her shoulders weighed even more heavily now as she let the walls down and the emotions rolled over her in massive waves. She relived the devastating mistakes of her life and she mourned the wolves that were taken from her. Of all of them she felt Hari was the closest now. She missed her brother deeply, one of the pillars that she had leaned on for so long. The sibling that she adored and the one that had been taken far too soon. She had committed too many sins to feel the presence of her once husband, the connection between the two of them was all but fully dissolved and that fact made the tears fall faster.
Age should have helped her to keep control of herself, but she had been holding back the emotions for so long that they were overwhelming now. She had put on a strong face, she had made the attempt to be there for Recluse, but really she was just a useless husk now. The once powerful Empress was now completely helpless. She held no power, she didn’t even have the capability to hold herself together. She was a complete failure, to her pack, to her family, and to her name. Why would her brother wish to see her anyway, even if she managed to call him here?
Self doubt took over the emotions within, the sorrows the guilt, all overwhelmed as she was forced to her haunches. Deathbelle lowered her head as a creeping fog began to move in. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears fell from her eyes, streaked down her cheeks, and began to pool in a golden orange leaf at her paws. The soft sobs rocked her body as she gave up. The thin veil was so thin that surely if she just let go that she would finally be able to cross over, to finally be free of the pain and turmoil within her.
Her broken heart cried out, Deathbelle wept there in the middle of the forest. The mists began to accumulate around her and small little blinking fireflies began to glow within the thick air vapor. Deathbelle’s eyes were closed and she did not see the change in her surroundings as she cried for death, she wept to the reaper, she bared her soul to the great beyond.
Yet it was still not her time, there was still some life left to give, and she would not be given a quick or easy end. The tears that pooled at her paws began to shimmer and change, the fireflies surrounding her began to close in, drawn to the shimmering liquids. One quiet glowing insect landed on her nose, causing her to blink open her bleary eyes. Her head lifted, and the lightning bug lifted from her muzzle, but as her eyes opened she realized the difference in scenery before her.
She sniffed softly, the tears falling from her eyes until they were dry, they pooled in the leaf at her feet, and her eyes followed a stray firefly to the tiny pool. Surprise shocked her again, as she saw Hari’s face instead of her own reflecting back at her. She lost her breath, and again questioned her sanity as she sobbed softly at the sight of her beloved sibling.
wc:820
Deathbelle wears a rosebud tiara that is not shown in her art.