Do dead parents forgive?

Nico had already run into a ghost once, not that he had seen it but he had seen stuff that could only be done by a ghost.  It wasn’t hard to believe with everything else going on.  He’d heard another wolf mention a similar tale.  So, if ghosts could wander about then where was mom?  Unless these were only certain spirits who had done something or were something or were summoned by those statues.  Still, the black coyote pup's heart ached to see his mom.  What if she hadn’t shown up because he was the reason she’d died?

With that thought in mind, he’d had Echo go pass a message along to Jack that he was going to be gone for a little bit.  Nico had just told Jack he wasn’t with his parents anymore and had never told the boy they’d passed on.  Nico certainly didn’t want to explain that right now, it’d keep for another time if it ever even needed to be said.  Jack would want to come with him if Nico seemed upset and he had a feeling his friend would recognize a fake smile from him.

Nico made his way to where the last place he had ever seen his family, the willow trees.  There was a particular tree, with a root that went off the ground, up a bit and down.  Claw marks had also been set in the bark, rather like a personal grave marker.  It didn’t need all that.  Nico would have known the spot of land anywhere.  He recalled dad dragging it to the hole he’d made to bury her in. Nico sat down near it now, staring at a pile of dirt and at what lie below the dirt.

Tears had welled up in the child’s eyes, fears of this being silly and nothing happening along with fears of mom showing up and pointing out how he’d failed her.  Sniffling, trying to swallow a lump in his throat so that he could speak, his first attempt was just, “mom?” The voice cracked.

This was dumb.  Nico glanced behind him, looking for some danger that was surely lurking.  Shivering, as if he could already feel a spirit in what was really just the wind.  Nico waited a few seconds, forcing his heart to calm and his muscles relax so that he could speak again.

“Mom?  Ghosts walk about now, at least, I believe they are ghosts  So where are you?  Are you still buried under the ground?  Are you one of the stars in the sky?  Or do you only go to the rest of the family?” The last words came out angrier than he expected, guilt turning to jealousy at the thought. “I didn’t mean to!  I never wanted,” and the words broke off again as jealousy turned back to pain and remembered guilt.

“I’m sorry.” The boy cried out loudly.  If there were larger predators there that wanted a coyote pup for a kill then let them come.  He wasn’t finished saying what was to be said and what was priority.  “I’m sorry, it's my fault.” The pup’s head droops low, staring sightlessly into the dirt.  “You said to stay close and I didn’t.  I just…” Nico started to say why he hadn’t but that was an excuse and a worthless one.  He had just wanted to play and explore.  Naively unaware of the tiger that had been nearby.  Mom had come to save him and she had but, at the cost of her life.

“I made a mistake,” the boy squeaked out, “but please, I want to know.  I need to know if you still love me, I mean, can you if you’re dead?  I mean dead clearly come back.  I think,” unless what walked the land was something other than dead ghosts? “Do  you hate me?” The last words were the most dreaded, the most feared.  It was like someone squeezed his heart inside with the bitter pain the coyote felt.

Nico’s front feet slid out from under him, his head resting on the dirt that his mother lay below.  The child's tears slid down their eyes, cheek, and finally the ground.  “I want to know,” his words whispered in a soft whine.  “Whichever it is.  Love me?  Hate me?  Please, can I at least apologize?’

Lying there, sniffling nothing seemed to happen right away.  Maybe they come but you have to do something first?  The statues liked gifts.  Mom wasn’t a statue though.  So did he give a gift to a statue or to her?  Did that even work as this was totally different?  Mom had said she liked his songs.  His songs were generally happy things though and his heart didn’t feel very happy right now.

“Mooom, my mom.  I loooove you, mooom oh mom, forgiiiiive me?
mooom oh mom, I am here now.  Please come and seeeee me.”

It was short and lacked his cheery tune yet it did have one.  Perhaps it was his best singing even if sad, there was a heartfelt melancholy that his soul put into the words.  

"Nico"