Love Me or Hate Me

Ignis · 11-23-2022, 12:39 AM

"I haven't gone far. Still feels like home, even with everyone gone." Part of him felt...envious. He couldn't say he knew what that felt like. Ruina had fallen when he was young. Abaven was short-lived, and Winterfell had crumbled to ruins thanks to him. As for the Plunder? He felt neutral about it. It was the more stable home so far, yes. But he'd only been there less than a year, and only time would tell how long it would stand for. His earthen heartache mentioned he was doing the same. Clearing his head, too. He didn't blame him after all that had happened in their lives. Perhaps Corvus felt stuck in a similar way that he did. "Not sure where I'm going next." His ear perked up. He was...unsure how to respond to that. He didn't know if Corvus was alone, or if he was still with that girl. He could smell her, but didn't know if it was fresher or older. The herb stench that clung to his pelt made it difficult for him to determine that for sure.

He had to stop himself from just blurting out that he should come live with him. The thought alone caused his heart to hammer painfully against his chest. Why did he still feel like this? After everything, shouldn't he be angry still and want Corvus to suffer for not loving him back? In the end, Ignis sighed and hung his head in defeat. There was no way he could ask him to come with him...not after their last encounter...and he was trying his best to avoid a repeat. To deter the demon that so far, continued to remain silent. But he was afraid that it would suddenly awaken, so he kept his distance...for now.

Corvus thanked him, and Ignis looked up with sad, hopeless eyes. He must look pathetic now...at least, compared to how he used to look. Pining over someone who chose someone else. How much more pathetic could he get? "I do hope life has been kind to you," He sighed again, shaking his head, suddenly he felt and looked years older than he was. Tired. Exhausted. "I wish I could say it has been, but it's clear it's been the opposite of kind." He lifted his head again, taking a step forward as he shifted his body a bit to reveal many new scars, the docked tail, his missing ear. Not a single scar could hide beneath his crimson fur. No, he laid it all out for Corvus to see just how kind life had been.

"My first litter of kids hates me. One of them ripped off my ear after I tried to rip off his tail over insignificant shit. The others I haven't seen in ages, and my latest litter's mother ran away, stealing one of them. I tore Winterfell to the ground, destroyed Acere's life, and he died without the honor he deserved, while I ruined his legacy. I killed a friendship with the only wolf I've trusted with everything that I have, spilled my heart to him, and I still pine after him like a lovestruck pup despite him choosing someone else. Karma has been getting me back each and every day for all that I've done. So in a way, I suppose life has been kind in the sense that it's inching me closer to death, but leaving me hanging at the edge each and every time." He swore it had all come out in a single breath, things he hadn't meant to say at all. Not so suddenly, anyway. He could feel his stress and tension rising, heart slamming against his chest as he steeled himself, claws digging into the ground. Desperation clawed at him, something he hadn't felt in a long time, and he had no clue how to deal with it without showing weakness. Why the hell did Corvus have to be here!?

"Ignis"||"Blödhgarm"

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