This is my kingdom come

Manea held Alastor's head to her chest, continuing to stroke over the back of his head as she cradled him against her neck even as she felt the tense and jerk of his muscles at the mention of Relm and her questioning for why he hadn't stayed with her when he found out about the loss of his children. It was far from the first time that she had witnessed Alastor's mental breaks, the psychotic nature of his broken mind filtering to the surface, but it still just reminded her of just how deeply all of this cut him. She had already known that if this eventuality ever came to pass it wouldn't go well, but this just cemented that fact as she listened to the deranged, pained laughter that bubbled from her mate. She didn't move away from him, still keeping him close as he explained what had led him to being here in this moment. When he told her that Relm had sent him away, using Irilyth to keep him out of the den as she went through her miscarriage, her eyes widened with her own disbelief, almost wondering if his grief stricken mind was twisting the turn of events to make this half truth she was hearing. She couldn't imagine Relm ever forcing Alastor away, nor could she imagine Irilyth standing up to Alastor like that—and yet here he was, laughing like a mad man and telling her how the two women wouldn't allow him to see his perished children.

No matter how broken he was in this moment, she knew that he would have done nearly anything to be with his children in their last moments. It did occur to her the very strong possibility that there wasn't actually corpses for him to say his goodbyes to. The possibility that Relm had actually forced him away to keep him from seeing the remains of what would have been their pups was at the back of her mind, but she knew that knowledge wouldn't ease his pain. He would have wanted to be there regardless because he did actually care for Relm. Why he did she'd never know, but he did and that was a fact she had come to accept. He would want to be there for this wolf he cared for and the pups that he had sired regardless of their eventual fate—and that was something that Relm had callously refused him. Her ears flicked and she squeezed him a bit tighter, her teeth gritting together with a protectiveness for her heartbroken husband and an anger toward his mistress that had allowed this to happen.

A slow sigh passed her lips as she sat her anger gently to the side, not allowing herself to think about her own feelings in this moment. There would be plenty of time for that once she helped Alastor regain some kind of grip. She glanced up at the near by shelves of supplies where Alastor had pulled down the bottle of alcohol from. Up above that shelf of more general supplies was a couple of vials of the medicine that Irilyth had come up with long ago to help keep Alastor from completely loosing himself. Manea tried to not resort to those drugs unless he really needed them, but in this case it felt like it would be more of a relief for him than anything to quiet these wild, tumultuous emotions. She gently lifted him from her shoulder, finding his gaze for a moment before reaching up for the vial and pulling the stopper free with her teeth for him. In her expression he would be able to see the barely restrained cold fury, but also the concern and love for this fractured man she called her own.

She brought the vial to his lips, telling him, "Take it." It wasn't a question or a request, but a command. It wasn't all that often that Manea forced Alastor to do anything or pulled any sort of dominance or power outside of their sexual antics, but in this case she was doing something for his own good that he might refuse otherwise. Only once he had taken the medicine did she set the vial down again and lift her paws to his cheeks, gently stroking away the tears that dampened his dark cheeks, searching his obsidian gaze with her aqua eyes. "Do you want me to go back to them with you? Demand that Irilyth let you in to see Relm? To tell you where they're buried? Do you want me to go mourn with you?" She joined him in his anger, felt his loss and his mourning, took on his heaviest loss so that he wouldn't have to face it alone. She knew this likely wasn't what he would have expected from her, but with every misstep their bond only grew stronger. He had seen her through her lowest points and so it was up to her to do the same.

Manea | Temno | Ciemny