All I See is You

He braced himself for what felt like the inevitable. Everything in his life had ended with some kind of disappointment so he didn’t know why he had thought that this would be anything different. Instead, what he got was Keahi suddenly coming to a stop and telling him to do the same, demanding that he look at her. He very much did not want to, but with a sigh he stopped and turned to face her, bringing his sea foam green gaze up to find the blue of hers. He was surprised by the familiar fire that he saw in her gaze and the soft smile that touched her lips, making his brows pull together in confusion. He had been so certain that like all other good things in his life it was time for whatever they were to come to an end, but instead she looked him in the eye and told him that everything he had guessed and assumed was wrong. She wasn't trying to leave him and what this was wasn't about that. The relief that hit him at that fact caught even himself off guard, but he didn't have a chance to fully unpack what that meant. There was still the question of what had actually been keeping her from him and what was so difficult for her to talk about.

His head tipped slightly as she looked away again, that uncertainty and discomfort he had seen before when he first approached her reappearing. As she spoke, bringing up how he looked at her since the raid, the confusion in his expression only deepened and he struggled to think back to find examples in his memory to back up what he was saying. They hadn't seen much of each other since the raid the pirate pack had launched against Armada, but as he thought about those few moments he realized what she was saying. He had been overly cautious about touching the wounds that had still been fairly fresh or newly scarring at the time. He had been careful to avoid talking about the raid or the result of it. He had been upset and moody at the time and perhaps even more willing to get lost in his work. The realization began to dawn on him as he drew the dots in his mind between what she was saying and his own actions and his ears flicked back as she admitted how she couldn't stand the thought of him looking at her differently or how he might think that she was ugly now with her new scars.

He was speechless for a moment, his mouth hanging open slightly as he struggled to find the words, until he finally just muttered a frustrated and emotional, "Fuck," under his breath and then moved toward her. There was no hesitation as he went to slip a foreleg around her and pull her into his chest, sitting back on his haunches as he went to tuck her head under his chin and wrap her up in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, Keahi, I... None of it was about you. None of it. Yes I was angry, but not at you." He lifted his cheek from where it was leaning into the top of her head and lifted a paw to the side of her face, tipping her head up so he could see her eyes. His paw pads gently traced over the scars that ran across her cheek as his ears folded back against his skull. "The raid reminded me of the wars I despised and was forced to witness and outfit when I was growing up. These... These just remind me of the casualties of those wars, of all the wolves I saw torn down and scarred far worse than this." There was a pause as guilt etched on his features before he added more quietly, "And they remind me that I wasn't there to protect you."

"Ruga Amanto"