Kintsugi

In the wake of the heart ache and devastation, Deimos had brought Ikigai back to their home, retreating into the familiar space that now held a bitter sweet feeling to it. This place had seen the lowest and highest points of their relationship and now it was seeing him through the lowest he had ever been. He hadn't thought that it was possible to feel more helpless and worthless than he had in the wake of hurting Ikigai and the punishment he had received from Alastor, but losing their children had been such an unexpected blow and had knocked him down from such a high that it was difficult to claw his way back to the surface. However, he knew he had to. He had to for himself and for Ikigai–to be the strength for her like she had been for him. He knew that if he let himself dwell on the fact that he hadn't been able to protect her and he had failed to save his unborn children he would never be able to move past this and if there was anything that he owed Ikigai it was to move past this and find a way to try again.

If there was one thing that he could take from all of this, one very small silver lining to this horrible tragedy, it was how deeply he felt for this princess that fate had brought into his life. What had begun as a physical attraction and a desire to finally reach these goals placed on him by his family had turned into something so much more. At first it frightened him thinking about how much he cared about this wolf that was so delicate and beautiful that clearly deserved so much more than an older, twisted man like himself, but the more she showed her true strength and resilience and the more she revealed how much she seemed to care about him in return it allowed him to come to terms with his own emotions. He began to think that perhaps his sister had been right all along–that the idea of having a true soul mate and someone that he would genuinely love and want to spend his life with was a real possibility and not all just fairy tales told to them by their grandparents.

They hadn't left the den much in the few days since they returned from their failed journey to Ashen, mostly at his insistence that Ikigai rest and recover and to give them some time to quietly grieve before he broke the news to his sister. He had only been out a time or two to fetch food from the stores, but otherwise he had stayed at Ikigai's side to keep himself from spiraling into his own pain. It was early in the morning as he held her now, only just having woke up himself with his mate cradled to his chest. He knew what he wanted to do today and no matter how nervous or excited he was he couldn't bring himself to wake her. Instead, he just watched her sleep with a little smile on his lips, his large paws gently rubbing her back until she eventually woke on her own.

"Deimos & Ikigai"