Can a frayed rope be mended?

Manea smiled a bit when Irilyth accepted her request and that she would be glad for her company. With how they had last parted ways she hadn't really been certain of that. As much as she hated that feeling, everything felt uncertain in one way or another and in some ways it felt like she was starting all over with Irilyth. As her lover looked up at her and pleaded with her to stop blaming herself for what happened and telling her that there was nothing that she could have done, her attempts at appearing at least neutral slipped and her ears flicked back. She knew that she had not been directly to blame for what happened. She understood that Irilyth had made a choice and that she had accepted the punishment that came with it. She most certainly did not agree with Alastor's method of punishment, but she still couldn't get the vision of Irilyth in the lake, so distant and detached, hearing her call her Matriarch again. She had a feeling that memory would haunt her for some time.

As Irilyth questioned her, asking how she could soothe this guilt, Manea sighed softly, glancing down between them for a moment. There was a heavy pause as she tried to tip toe around how she could express what she was feeling, but in the end she just came out and said it as a frown pulled at her lips, speaking quietly and having a difficult time meeting her gaze. "You're mine, Irilyth. You're one of my wolves and I wasn't able to protect you. I knew how Alastor felt about what you did, I knew what he was capable of, but I couldn't bring myself to punish you myself to protect you from him. How can I have no guilt?" Manea let out a slow breath, closing her eyes for a moment before she finally brought her gaze back to Irilyth's, her aqua eyes apologetic as she tentatively lifted a paw to Irilyth's cheek. She gently stroked over her soft, blonde fur, missing the feeling of it beneath her paw pads. "I appreciate that you don't blame me. I know you can handle things on your own and I understand that you made the choice, but..." Words failed her and she gently shook her head as her paw slipped away again.

Sliding down onto her stomach in front of Irilyth so that the smaller woman wouldn't have to crane her neck to look up at her, Manea tried to refocus herself. Even she knew that letting herself spin constantly in this endless cycle of what ifs and should haves wasn't helping either of them and she desperately wanted to do something to help. "What can I do? Is there something I can do for you? Something I can do to Alastor? Every way I've ever tried to reprimand him for anything has never gotten through to him, but if there's something that you think is fair then I will do it for you." She left it in Irilyth's paws, feeling that as the victim in this she should have the ultimate say in what she felt was fair. Perhaps it would be nothing, but Manea would feel better as long as she knew Irilyth was cared for.

"Manea" & "Irilyth"