PAIN, NO PAIN
10-23-2013, 01:12 AM
Artemis vs. Devya for Vengeance Round 1
Artemis: CLARITY: 10 / 10 Your posts are very clear, however I recommend being wary using all your lovely big words for some things. Eg. Mandibles- I know what mandibles are, however using this term instead of ?lower jaw? for example can confuse things a bit; especially with certain judges who do not use or understand the more ?colourful? words for wolf anatomy. POWERPLAYING: 10 / 10 No powerplaying found. DEFENSES: 9 / 10 Full points for protected throat, raised hackles, narrowed eyes, pinned ears, splayed toes, centered weight. ATTACK: 6 / 10 Full points for an effective and strong attack to the chest, attempting to throw Devya?s balance before aiming to grasp the lower jaw/cheek. INJURIES: 10 / 10 First Round Round one Artemis Total: 45 / 50 Devya: CLARITY: 7 / 10 I am having trouble understanding some of your angles. Darting towards the left of Artemis if anything would have caused her to at least hit the shoulder, not her side? You also had a couple typos which could have been potentially confusing, and fail to mention which shoulder Devya is attacking. Don?t presume we know. POWERPLAYING: 7 / 10 Points deducted for excess movement. I believe Artemis? attack should have been fast enough to hit front-on, and that Devya would not have had the time to present side-on to Artemis. As I said in Clarity she should have atleast hit the shoulder. Also the way her jaws were aiming for the face I don?t see how they could hit the ribs when the ribs are so much lower than the area she aimed for. DEFENSES: 8 / 10 Full points for raised hackles, narrowed eyes, pinned ears, balanced weight, ready jaws. You lost a couple here because you related the ?crown? to shielding the throat, when it should have really been the chin or lower jaw. Also widened legs, we prefer squared or equally spaced. ATTACK: 4 / 10 Launching towards Artemis, attempting to bite at the shoulder and shake skull. The shoulder is not easy to grasp flesh on (very tight muscular area), and shaking the skull here would likely result in the loss of her grasp. Not to say it?s impossible, just unlikely. INJURIES: 10/ 10 First round, bruising behind the shoulder from collision, bite wound over ribs. Round one Devya Total: 36 / 50 Round 2
Artemis: CLARITY: 10 / 10 Great clarity. POWERPLAYING: 10/ 10 No Powerplaying detected. DEFENSES: 10 / 10 Full points for pinned ears, balanced weight, splayed toes, guarded underside, raised hackles, protected throat, quick return of forepaw to ground and rebalancing weight. ATTACK: 5 / 10 Attempted shove with the heel at the rib cage, then a bite aimed for the left cheek. Wolves do not hold much power at all in their limbs, and unless her whole body was thrown into a shove I don?t believe it capable of breaking bone or causing any kind of serious injury. INJURIES: 7 / 10 Bite wound to right shoulder. Round two Artemis Total: 42 / 50 Devya: CLARITY: 8 / 10 They are in a T formation with Artemis facing Devya?s side, Devya rears up to put her chest over Artemis? shoulder. To do this she would have to swivel a lot on her hinds, but even then she would have ended up almost face-to-face and more-so over Artemis? nape if anything. POWERPLAYING: 9 / 10 You mention in her attack that she attempts to dig claws into flesh to /keep/ a hold; be careful here, I know you said ?attempted? to start with but you make it sound as though she presumed she had achieved contact. DEFENSES: 9 / 10 Full points for raised hackles, protected neck, protected abdomen, balanced weight, narrowed eyes, pinned ears, paw pushed under for balance during attack. Intercept ATTACK: 3 / 10 Rearing up to push chest to shoulders, and attain a hold with forelimbs/claws. Then aiming a bite at the ear or surrounding area. This is a risky attack in that the throat is exposed, and weak in the sense INJURIES: 4/ 10 Fractured ribs, bite wound to lower neck. Although I find the rib fracture unlikely I appreciate your willingness to take damage - this is likely going to be very painful for Devya to move her torso and breathe from here on. Round two Devya Total: 33 / 50 Round 3
Artemis: CLARITY: 8 / 10 Leaning weight onto hinds before shifting to chest suddenly. This is hard to imagine, personally I would think it would be more realistic for her to more push off her hinds rather than just shift her weight between forequarters and hindquarters. POWERPLAYING: 10 / 10 None detected. DEFENSES: 10 / 10 Full points for narrowed eyes, pinned ears, balanced stance, protected throat, tense stance, splayed toes, hackles raised. ATTACK: 8 / 10 Full points for attempted thrust with the chest at Devya?s lower rib-cage, and clear shot at the jugular. INJURIES: 9 / 10 Pierced ear- no points deducted for whatever injuries were inflicted by claws, as canine nails are very blunt and not capable of real damage. Round three Artemis Total: 45 / 50 Devya: CLARITY: 6 / 10 You should have given more guidance as to what part and angle you aimed to grasp Artemis? jaws at. I think the only accessible place was over the top of snout, aiming straight downward, but you lost points for failing to clarify this. Also the backwards motion of Devya falling was quite confusing too and I felt it could have been worded better; is her attack to Artemis? jaws occurring /during/ her backwards falling? If so, I find it unlikely. Your last paragraph was also confusing ?collide with the nearly body part?, what body part? POWERPLAYING: 8 / 10 Devya falls to her back and then aims to shoot her forelimbs out at Artemis? You can?t presume Artemis stayed with her during the fall. DEFENSES: 2 / 10 Ready jaws, snarling, narrowed eyes. It?s a real shame you let go of your defenses in this round, you were doing very well with them. Remember listing in the summary doesn?t account for them. ATTACK: 4 / 10 Worsening damage to ear, using forelimbs to knock Artemis. Forelimbs do not pack much strength, especially with the downward motion Devya had going. INJURIES: 7/ 10 Puncture wounds to lower neck. Round three Devya Total: 27 / 50 Totals:
Artemis: 132 /150 Devya: 96 /150 And the winner is...
Artemis! Devya must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out and Artemis has won her Vengeance. Damage:
Artemis- Long-term: Pierced ear cartilage, may never accurately heal. Short-term: Lameness due to shoulder wound. Devya- Long-term: Fractured ribs that will be very slow healing and make movements and heavy breathing very difficult for Devya. Short-term: Puncture wounds in side and neck. Notes:
Good job guys! Saf, it?s a real shame you faltered with your defenses at the end, for they were quite strong in the first two rounds. You would score better with stronger, more complex attacks. Also remember angles and realism are very important. I?m sorry if your scores seemed low, please don?t take it negatively as I am known to deduct a lot from Clarity. Clarity seemed to be a small weaker point for you, whilst it is one of Aly?s strengths so that is why there is a big difference between the scores. <3Aly, really good work! Watch your wording, its beautiful and very creative but some day you might risk getting a judge that simply doesn?t understand! Also ensure your attacks are realistic- remember forelimbs don?t pack much power unless body weight is thrown into the attack. |
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