SEVEN NATION ARMY
10-26-2013, 01:00 PM
canttina v gael for gael Round One
canttina ?clarity ? 6 out of 10 ; regarding the chest bump, it should have been specified exactly where canttina was aiming to hit, i.e. his lower chest, upper chest, middle chest, with whatever part of her own chest. in regards to cant?s bite attack, her intentions for attacking his lower neck needs to be specified, i.e. to draw blood. powerplay ? 7 out of 10 ; although the distance is bound to be closed during a fight, there should have been an attempt to close the distance between canttina and gael, because gael could have backpedalled or someone else could have intercepted cant. ?It would hurt both of them?? please do not assume anything about the other character, no matter if it seems logical. wolf ultimately decides what gael feels and what he does not. defense ? 6 out of 10 ; shoulders rolled, nails biting into soil, hackles raised, ears pinned, teeth exposed, knees bent. raised tail was not counted as a defense for that would not aide canttina at all. attack ? 5 out of 10 ; attempt to slam her chest against his own (+2), bite to the lower right side of gael?s neck (+3). injuries ? 10 out of 10 ; first round. round one canttina total ? 34 out of 50 gael ? clarity ? 8 out of 10 ; regarding the attack to cant?s scruff, what gael?s intentions were for attacking the scruff needs to be specified, i.e. to draw blood, to gain control of her head. powerplay ? 10 out of 10 ; nothing of note. defense ? 7 out of 10 ; hackles raised, knees bent, chin tucked, ears pinned, shoulders rolled, tensed muscles, toes splayed, tail aligned with spine, jaws parted/teeth exposed. subtracted two points from initial score for compromising his balance when he raises himself up. attack ? 4 out of 10 ; attempt to grasp cant?s scruff (+4). injuries ? 10 out of 10 ; first round. deep puncture wounds to upper right chest, lightly bruised left shoulder. round one gael total ? 39 out of 50 Round Two
canttina ? clarity ? 7 out of 10 ; the depth of the puncture wounds to cant?s neck needs to be specified. ?her jaws slammed down onto his left upper chest?? her jaws hit his right chest. if this was through cant?s perspective, that needs to be clarified. powerplay ? 5 out 10 ; ?left upper chest, about where his collar bone would be?? although logical and correct (clarified through gael?s next post), never assume anything. ?he then leaned up, attempting to pull her up?? to my understanding, gael pulled up as he attacked cant in order to better access her scruff, not afterwards. ??these two actions would result in major tissue damage?? again, do not assume what cant?s attacks will manage to do to gael. defense ? 5 out of 10 ; ears pinned, knees bent, tail tucked, eyes narrowed, hackles raised. attack ? 2 out of 10 ; attempt to chew into gael?s chest. no points were awarded here due to the fact that it?d be impossible to chew on him when her molars can?t connect due to his flesh being in the way (+0). attempt to whip her skull around to damage tissue (+2). attempt to break gael?s left front toes. no points were awarded here due to the ineffectiveness of this technique; in order to actually break the bones, weight would need to be applied behind her paw to crush gael?s, and gael?s forepaws are not even on the ground at this point in the fight (+0). injuries ? 6 out of 10 ; bruised chest, bite/grasp to scruff. round two canttina total ? 25 out of 50 gael ? clarity ? 8 out of 10 ; ??smash her toes.? the toes upon which paws need to be specified. powerplay ? 1 out of 10 ; ??puncturing the woman's hide, drawing blood.? cant never mentioned gael managed to draw blood, so do not assume an injury dealt upon her. ??the young Adravendi would take a firmer hold on her scruff, shaking his larger skull from side to side?? both of these attacks need to be made as attempts. defense ? 6 out of 10 ; chin tucked, eyes narrowed, ears pinned, shoulders rolled, tail aligned with spine, balanced. attack ? 6 out of 10 ; tighten grip on her scruff (+1), skull thrashing (+2), attempt to break cant?s toes (+3). injuries ? 7 out of 10 ; deep wound to chest. round two gael total ? 28 out of 50 Round Three
canttina ?clarity ? 8 out of 10 ; cant?s incentive for aiming for gael?s neck needs to be specified, i.e. to plunge deep into his flesh and damage arteries, etc. powerplay ? 7 out of 10 ; in regard to cant?s paw attack, I found it unfair how cant manages to maintain her balance upon broken toes, esp. since she?s lifting her good leg up and her weight would shift towards her left to apply further pressure upon the wound. defense ? 4 out of 10 ; ears pinned, eyes narrowed, knees bent, hackles raised, tail tucked. paws digging into the earth counted for nothing and didn?t make much sense. one point deducted from the original score for compromising her balance by lifting one of her paws off the ground and failing to mention anything about adjusting her weight to balance herself. attack ? 5 out of 10 ; bite towards the center of gael?s neck (+5). no points were awarded for cant?s attempt to swipe at gael due to the fact that a wolf?s claws are dull and would likely not break skin at all. injuries ? 5 out of 10 ; rips and tears along her scruff, broken toes in left forepaw. round three canttina total ? 29 out of 50 gael ? clarity ? 6 out of 10 ; the wounds to gael?s chest needs to be specified, i.e. the depths or severity of the wounds. ??to try and shove the crazed she-wolf?? it needs to be specified as to what body part of gael?s would impact what body part of cant?s, as well as specify the incentive for shoving her, i.e. to push her back or to bruise her. powerplay ? 5 out of 10 ; cant?s swipe attack was disregarded. although the attack would have done little to nothing to gael, it still needs to be acknowledged. defense ? 6 out of 10 ; tail aligned with spine, weight distributed, chin tucked, ears flattened, eyes narrowed, jaws unhinged, shoulders rolled. I would have docked you two points for rearing back and compromising his balance by doing so, but since you mentioned redistributing his balance, only one point was taken since his balance would still be jeopardized. attack ? 4 out of 10 ; attempted shove (+2), attempt to bite into cant?s right ear (+2). one point was docked from what you would have received out of the bite to the ear since cant?s ears were pinned. injuries ? 8 out of 10 ; bite to the center of his chest. round three gael total ? 29 out of 50 Round Four
canttina ?clarity ? 6 out of 10 ; ??move her front legs in a motion to where the two would dance together.? it should have been specified exactly what cant was attempting to do here, i.e. the attempted positioning of her forelimbs. the incentive for her attack to gael?s already-wounded chest needs to be specified, i.e. to have her teeth plunge even deeper into his chest to further damage tissue, etc. powerplay ? 4 out of 10 ; ??she reacted very quickly, countering him.? the wording used here made it seem as if canttina was successful in countering him. you also completely fail to mention gael?s attempt to shove cant. defense ? 4 out of 10 ; tail tucked, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, hackles raised, knees bent, claws digging into soil. two points deducted for rearing back onto her hinds and failing to mention anything of reestablishing her balance. attack ? 3 out of 10 ; bite to an already-wounded area (+3). injuries ? 9 out of 10 ; pierced ear. round four canttina total ? 26 out of 50 gael ? clarity ? 9 out of 10 ; ??aim towards his right shoulder again?? cant aimed for the upper right portion of gael?s chest, not his shoulder. powerplay ? 6 out of 10 ; it was never mentioned that gael released cant?s ear, yet he made an attack to her abdomen with his jaws. ??would quick drop downwards?? as gael and cant are interlocked with their forelimbs, I felt that the success of this would really be unlikely. defense ? 6 out of 10 ; ears pinned, eyes narrowed, chin tucked, knees bent, tail tucked, shoulders rolled, limbs spread evenly apart. one point docked from initial score for compromising his balance by lifting his forepaw off the ground and failing to reestablish his balance. attack ? 8 out of 10 ; bite to abdomen, vital area (+5), swipe to cant?s ankle to knock her off balance (+3) injuries ? 8 out of 10 ; deep gashes along forehead/bridge of muzzle. round four gael total ? 37 out of 50 Totals
canttina ? 114 out of 200 gael ? 133 out of 200 And the winner is...
gael! canttina must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out, and she is no longer able to participate in the fighting during this siege. gael's status as a wolf of valhalla may no longer be contested during this siege. Damage
canttina ? broken toes in left forepaw, will take two ooc weeks to heal. permanently pierced right ear, tears in scruff that'll take three ooc days to heal. gael ? deep gashes in upper chest and moderate gashes to lower chest, will take an ooc week to heal and will permanently scar over. gashes along forehead/bridge of muzzle will take five ooc days to heal. Notes
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) i felt that most of the attacks during this fight on both of your parts were minimal and repetitive and that both gael and canttina could have done more. i felt the damage that was taken on both of your parts was also very realistic -- not one of you took minimal damage the entire time and that was refreshing. my tips for both of you would be to go into detail with your attacks and injuries, including the intentions behind every attack and the severity/depths of the wounds received just to ensure clarity. be sure to include as many defenses as you possibly can to raise the defense score; i know of more than ten so feel free to skype me asking for a list c: good job, guys! - By [ aly ]
|
Current time: 10-06-2024, 02:28 AM
Powered By MyBB, © 2002-2024 MyBB Group.
