I Hurt Myself Today

The strange way that Enki talks and moves is unknown to the boy himself since, from his limited point of view, everything he does seems normal. When the news of the death of his mother had reached his ears, the pale boy had felt a suddenly shift within himself, as if something was… different. Yet, he could never put his paw on what that actually was. Now, as the colorful Tazzy tilts his head with a concerned expression appearing his features while he asks if Enki is okay, the pale boy can only blink in surprise. Of course, the blink is sluggish and the shock only manages to lift a few lines of his face but, internally, there is a lot that happens.

With the question comes a swirl of thoughts that flood the boy’s mind, bombarding him with accusations and concerns for his own wellbeing. It is all so overwhelming and, with this sudden deluge of thoughts, his mind takes him back to the moment that he heard the very news that caused all this change. Suddenly, the wall that his mind had constructed between his emotions in order to protect him, cracks and a cold hand of fear snakes out. Without warning, Enki’s face morphs from flat lines. Terror creeps into every angle and line of his face as the claws of dread sink deep into his mind.

It is a strange thing to watch as, one moment, he had been emotionless and, in next, he is showing an emotion so strongly. Enki’s heart picks up speed as adrenaline is dumped into his veins and, for a brief second, his eyes light up with the shine of the wolf he had once been. Looking at the kind boy, the pale boy fearfully admits, “I… I don’t know.” The words are breathless and filled with distress as the pale boy feels himself losing his tenuous grip on his reality. Then, just as quick as the emotion had appeared, the boy’s mind repairs the crack in the wall and, once more, contains the escaped emotion.

Features fall back into their normal, apathetic, expression and the light in his eyes flickers and dulls as Enki’s soul, once again, dims. Blinking lethargically at the colorful boy, Enki simply says, “Yeah.” The worst part about that whole experience is the pale boy’s mind has locked away the memory of what had just happened as well. To him, Tazzy asked the question and he answered with ‘yes’. There is no doubt that something is wrong with Enki but, with his mind attempting to protect him, there is no way that he can pinpoint what is wrong.

The conversation moves on to swimming and Tazzy admits he has never swum before. With a dip of his head, the pale boy acknowledges the information and says, “It isn’t too difficult. At least… not from what I remember.” His memory is full of holes but Enki is pretty sure he can remember how to swim. Tazzy’s sudden question has Enki blinking slowly as he considers the if it is fun. With a jerky shrug of his shoulders, he says, “Yeah. It is very… freeing.” Words are difficult to find that truly explain what it is like to be able to swim and to dive underneath the surface.

Casting his gaze around, the pale boy turns his body in the direction of the river. Baby blue gaze turns to look down at Tazzy, the small boy that seems to have boundless energy and is kind to him. A thought sluggishly enters his mind. The boy had asked if he was okay and it only seems right to ask, “Are you okay, Tazzy?” That is what friends do right? Check in with each other. Truthfully, Enki has never had a friend outside of his siblings. A life spent in hiding will do that to a child.


"Enki Klein"