Growing up, taking responsibility

The confidence that Charlie had felt before wavered. His ears lowered as his father spoke, the disapproval in his voice, though he tried to soften it, was a dagger to the yearling’s heart. His gaze and tail fell, disappointment in himself rising. He had lost his focus… and he could see his father’s point of view. He had been afraid that Silveris might have been lost in that moment, her life snuffed out, stolen from him when he had been unable to help, much like his mother. He had been powerless then… and he’d have been powerless now if Silveris really was in danger. If he had been fighting an enemy he could have been severely injured… could have fallen over Yorrick and cost them both their lives… that difference in scenario entered his head and Charlie stiffened.

The following words from his father, while right, hurt deeply. Not only had he failed in his attempt at properly securing a rank, he had disappointed his father and the next time he went into battle there was more at risk. Silveris… His father mentioned replacing her with a more suitable companion if necessary and Charlie visibly flinched, stepping away from his dad. He couldn’t look at Sirius now. He felt overwhelmed… if… if he failed… Her ability to stay with him, possibly even her life, was now in his paws… if he didn’t succeed… Charlie felt tears sting his eyes. It was a lesson he didn’t want to learn, to consider. Could he handle that responsibility? That pressure?

“I…” He squeezed his eyes closed. He didn’t want to fight his father again, rank or not, not if it would risk his friend! But even with his more loving nature, Charlie knew he would never be happy as a rankless member of the Armada. What good could he be to anyone then? What would be the point of remaining in the Armada? And if he couldn’t do this, would he even survive outside the pack? His heart sank in his chest, and he could feel Yorrick give a comforting brush against him as the fisher walked past the boy. If he really wanted to be the best he could for the Armada, for his family, this was something he would need to do. If he really wanted to do right by Silveris, he would need to sharpen his skills. Charlie swallowed hard, forcing himself to speak as he opened his eyes once more. He still didn’t look at his father, but he would acknowledge what needed to be done, and the stakes along with it.

“...I understand…”

"Speech," 'Thought.'