The sound of a heart shattering is the loudest thing you'll never hear

It is a strange yet oddly comforting thing to see just how many lives her father had touched. Even the bitter grief that rests on the back of her tongue, turning the food that she eats into ashes, is proof of just how deeply she had loved her father. While it is easy to allow that sorrow to overwhelm her, the girl has shifted her focused and now measures her grief in the moments where she believes he would have been proud of her. In those moments, the sting of his death softened. While Haydée had only had him for one year, her mother has had a lifetime with Gavroche and it is no wonder that his violent departure has left such a hole in her life.

The sight of her mother looking so lost causes her heart to break and the shards, like thousands of tiny pieces glass, lodge painfully in her chest. Love is something her winged father gave her and now, even as her body chest physically hurts, Hay pours out every ounce of that love to her mother. There is a saying that those who trust in the Divines will be granted their tender mercies when they are needed the most. Now, as the two wolves hold each other, bound together by their grief and love, Haydée feels the gentle swelling of love that a parent has for their child.

True, Bellamy is her mother but, right now, as the woman lays lost and drowning in an abyss of sorrow and longing, Hay understands how fiercely parents love their children and how much they wish to protect them from the cruelty of the world around them. Right now, the girl does her best to be the life raft that Bellamy needs, offering her embrace as a physical grounding while the love she offers is an attempt to buoy her mother’s sinking spirit. The silence that stretches between them is not strained because the simple act of being in each other’s presence is enough to sustain them.

When Bellamy voice, rough with emotion and raw like the wounds on their souls, breaks the silence, Hay pulls back slightly so she can meet her mother’s gaze. The girl’s emerald green eyes are soft, her gaze gentle and loving with absolutely no judgement in them. Tears gather in their corners as Bellamy continues to speak and the girl simply continues to watch her mother, noticing the shuddering breath and heavy sighs as they come. For now, Haydée remains silent, allowing her mother to voice what she needs while just being present… with her.

As Bellamy brokenly whispers about Gavroche not remembering them, Hay suddenly understands that she has not just been grieving the loss of her mate but also the rebirth of that same gentle soul. A sad, knowing smile worms its way across her lips as she looks at her mother, trying to convey just how much she cares for her in the silent moments between words. Where Bellamy had offered heavy sighs, the small girl offers a soft one, the air pushed out in a gentle exhale as she leans in to lick away the tears that coat her mother’s checks.

The rain soaks them both and the salty tears are mixed with rain water but Hay still attempts to comfort her mother with the act. In that moment, she feels their roles are reversed and Hay knows that she will do anything and everything to help her mother. Pulling back so that her green eyes can catch Bellamy’s once more, she offers a gentle smile as her voice softly breaks the silence, “The body we buried belonged to Gavroche and the young pup who now walks in Ethne is his body reborn. But the dad I knew is gone and his memories were erased to help ease his transition.” Haydée knows, in her heart of hearts, that the new Gav not having his old memories is a blessing since he will never have to bear the hurt and insults the older one had once been forced to endure.

Continuing one, she says, “Now, Gavroche II is a blank slate that can be filled with nothing but love and kindness for all the blessed days of his life.” Another one of those tender mercies that the Divines are known to give, “Dad is gone but he lives on in our hearts, our minds, and in our memories. I will cherish them each and every day.” A small paw lifts to brush the fur along her mother’s cheek, a tender caress offered to the lost woman. Another, soft sigh spills past her lips and Hay once more embraces Bellamy, laying her head across the woman’s neck as she hugs her tightly.

Tears slip out of her eyes, mingling with the rain to fall lightly onto her mother’s dark shoulder. At first, Hay had raged at the world for taking her gentle father in such a violent way but, as the days worn on, she had realized that it did not solve anything. Anger and grief were only hurting her and, it was only giving up the rage, that healing was truly able to occur. Bellamy seems stuck in some stage of grief and the girl knows she needs help. Still embracing her mother tightly, Haydée softly says, “Mom… I’m worried about you. Will you allow me to try and find someone to help you? I don’t want you to worry about the pack or anything. I am ready to lead… if you will let me.”

While Hay is only a year old, she knows that Bellamy cannot continue on in the state she is and worrying about Ethne needs to the be furthest thing from her mind. Yes, she is willing and ready to take over if it means that her mother can get well.


"Haydée Kedieo"