-1 make sure you attempt to close the distance between yourself and your opponent when starting off a fight
8/10 for Clarity:
-1 I don't quite follow her jaw positioning, particularly the angle she's at, like where the lower fangs are meant to land
-1 don't forget to list your intent with an attack in regards to damage, gaining holds, etc.
4/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder throw
+2 bite
5/5 for Defenses:
all defenses valid
10/10 for Injuries:
first round
Status
3/12 for Experience:
+3 Intermediate Healer
4/5 for Health:
loner
VOODOO’s round one total: 43/62
VIDARR:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None Seen
2/10 for Clarity:
-1 "lurched forward at a shallow angle." I don't quite follow, do you mean the leap forms an angle up or is he trying to angle off to the side?
-2 you say he's slamming back, how is he aligning himself? what part of his body is he trying to slam with? This line could be interpreted in many different ways. I'm not sure if this is an attack.
-1 how severe is the damage done by Voodoo's attacks?
-2 "moved to throw the bulk of his head and forequarters into her." What parts of his forequarters is he using? Where on Voodoo is he trying to strike? It's important to be specific and clear with attacks.
-1 "instead seeking purchase wherever he could find it." you must pick a target
-1 where is his left leg aiming? like how is he trying to "tangle" it with voodoo.
4/10 for Attacks:
+1 body slam (as he was already trying to press into her the lack of momentum would lead to less damage)
+2 bite
+1 paw throw
5/5 for Defenses:
all defenses valid
10/10 for Injuries:
first round, no deductions taken
moderate bruising to outer left leg
moderate punctures to left cheek
Status
12/12 for Experience:
+6 Master Hunter
+6 Master Fighter
4/5 for Health:
loner
VIDARRs round one total: 47/62
ROUND TWO
VOODOO:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None Seen
4/10 for Clarity:
-1 how did Voodoo move to avoid his fangs?
-2 "taking her right left leg" which is it, right or left? where is she taking it? Is it a front or back leg?
-1 don't forget to state damage intent
-1 I imagine Voodoo being on Vidarr's left side, how is she stretching her head over to his right leg?
-1 " she attempted to shove him" what is she shoving into him? where is she shoving him?
4/10 for Attacks:
+2 shoulder throw
+2 bite
4/5 for Defenses:
+1 for each valid defense
9/10 for Injuries:
-0 light bruising to shoulder
-1 bruised toes
Status
3/12 for Experience:
+3 Intermediate Healer
4/5 for Health:
loner
VOODOO’s round two total: 38/62
VIDARR:
WRITING
8/10 for Power Play:
-2 too much movement, he bites, moves away then bites again. You generally only have time to attack with a body part once in a round
6/10 for Clarity:
-1 make sure to clarify the extend of damage received from an attack
-1 "instead choosing to reach for whatever bit happened to be closest." you need to pick a specific target
-1 you mention he's swinging away from her, how far? how is he trying to align himself?
-1 what portion of his body is he trying to throw into her shoulders
4/10 for Attacks:
+2 bite
+2 bite
2/5 for Defenses:
+1 each valid defense
7/10 for Injuries:
-2 moderate punctures to right foreleg
-1 light bruising to left ribs
Status
12/12 for Experience:
+6 Master Hunter
+6 Master Fighter
4/5 for Health:
loner
VIDARRs round two total: 43/62
ROUND THREE
VOODOO:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None Seen
6/10 for Clarity:
-1 "towards the left " whose left?
-1 how is she aiming for his underbelly? Is she going through his front legs or in from an angle?
-1 where did his body collide with hers?
-1 "latch on her back below her right front leg." I don't understand this positioning
4/10 for Attacks:
+2 bite
+2 kick
5/5 for Defenses:
all defenses valid
6/10 for Injuries:
-1 minor lacerations to cheek
-1 moderate bruising to… top of shoulders?
-2 moderate puncture wounds to back
Status
3/12 for Experience:
+3 Intermediate Healer
4/5 for Health:
loner
VOODOO’s round three total: 38/62
VIDARR:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
None Seen
6/10 for Clarity:
-2 "He jerked sideways with a deep grow" To which side? How did he move? stepping? leaping? I'm not clear on how he avoided her attack
-1 which hip is he aiming for?
-1 what part of his body is he hoping to slam into her and where?
4/10 for Attacks:
+2 bite
+2 body slam
0/5 for Defenses:
none seen
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 moderate bruising to leg
Status
12/12 for Experience:
+6 Master Hunter
+6 Master Fighter
4/5 for Health:
loner
VIDARRs round three total: 45/62
Totals:
VOODOO: 119/186 VIDARR: 135/186
And the winner is...
VIDARR! VOODOO must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Notes:
The main issue for both of you was clarity. Make sure to pick specific targets and clarify what part of their body your character is using to attack.
King, I'd recommend leveling up Voodoo's skills. Vidarr got an extra +12 points each round b/c he's double master compared to her +3. Leveling her skills will help even the playing field between her and higher skilled opponents.
