Gimme Shelter

Bellamy · 08-16-2023, 08:55 PM

Gavroche wasn’t at the grave, not really, but leaving it still hurt. She hadn’t really wanted to go back to the den they shared, her ears falling once they reached the entrance of the tunnel system. The den they shared felt so empty… so cold. But alongside her little one she makes her way to their furs and bodily flops down upon them. She becomes aware of the chill now, the wet feel of her coat from the rain, but she makes no effort to try and dry herself off. Her ears remained flattened, fussed over by her little one until she was dry and as comfortable as she could be in that moment. She can feel her lack of sleep attempting to catch up to her, but Bellamy fights the urge to shut her eyes. She tries to block out the thoughts that want to invade her brain, forcing herself to focus on Haydee’s actions until she speaks.

Dorian… Bellamy feels her heart sink. Her children, taking care of her like she was some helpless newborn. She had been avoiding him and Lucette as the weight of the truth weighed on her. Perhaps it was for the better… she didn’t want the pups to see her like this too. But… if Hay had noticed how far she had fallen… surely they had too. Lucy had been leaving herbs for her, ones she recognized for trying to keep strength up. Sometimes she ate them, sometimes she didn’t. Some were near the furs she laid on now. Bellamy glanced at them and sighed softly.

“I’ll try to…” An honest answer. She whines softly as her green gaze follows her daughter’s form. “...please don’t be long…” Her head shifts from her legs to the furs. His scent was fading… she recoiled, almost as if she had been struck. She shakes her head back and forth, breath catching in her throat. No. She won’t. She can’t. She leaves the furs, leaves their den, and moves to the tunnels before laying back down as she tries to calm herself. He wasn’t fading…

…he… he wouldn’t fade…

Tears pricked her eyes as she curled up in a ball. She wanted to sob, but she fought the sound that wanted to escape, muttering the word “No,” over and over to herself. Her mind was a danger… her own worst enemy, twisting the events that had happened, that were before her now. Despite herself a wail leaves her lips, the sound echoing through the tunnels. “Gav…!” This couldn’t be the truth. He was here. He had to be. It’s all a bad dream… he was going to save her…!

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For healing notes: Bellamy is suffering from depression, an anxiety attack, PTSD, lack of eating (enough to keep her alive but cause a reduction in weight from medium to light), and delirium / lack of proper sleep. Her mental state rapidly went downhill after bringing Gavroche’s killer to justice. She both knows he’s gone and refuses to accept he is really gone.

"Speech" 'Thought.'

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Gimme Shelter

Dorian & Bellamy

Bellamy