What The Hell For?

*Caerul* · 10-30-2013, 04:09 AM

Caerul's thoughts would consume him, not only did he feel he didn't have a purpose within his pack, but also in his own life. Whilst his family were happy doing what they were doing. He sighed, did he really have a purpose in life? He began to think that maybe it wasn't the fact that he didn't have an important role anymore, but the fact that he would probably live his life alone until he died. Up until now, he had always taken care of his siblings, being there for them and spending every waking moment with them. Never did he have much time to go looking for a mate, and nobody had really cared to try for him. He was aging, and it was showing...though even his other siblings such as Cael, had found a mate upon coming to these lands. and it dawned on him that the frustration of his life remaining at a standstill irked him, and made him feel sad...he was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that the male hadn't noticed the presence of his alpha until she had spoken. Looking up, he would quickly dip his head to her in greeting, and his eyes betraying a hint of mixed emotions. "Ah...I'm sorry Chrysanthe...I'm not exactly sure what's come over me as of late..."

Before he could say more, however, he would scent the approach of his brother, Cael and he would offer a small faltering smile. He looked briefly from his brother, to Chrysanthe, and back. Wondering if he should tell them the heavy thoughts that had been upon his mind as of late. Though he wanted his family more then anything right now, he felt that he could tell his alpha as well...after all, she was considered a part of his family now. With a an intake of breath, he would look at his brother and his Alphess in turn, at last turning his gaze slightly upwards towards the sky. "Lately, I have come to feel that my life is losing it's meaning...What I once was is over, as I used to be a leader among my siblings, I felt then that I had a purpose. Since coming here, after finding our real father, I feel that my role is nearing it's end. Not only that, but I am aging, and after years of life I've yet to even find a mate." He turned to his brother then, a look of admiration hiding the slight twinge of envy that would bubble slightly. But he was happy for Cael, happy that he finally had someone in his life. "I wish to one day find someone the way my brother has...to one day find and share the love that you and Imena share." Turning to Chrysanthe, a look of admiration and adoration for her, as well as respect. "You now have Gideon, and you are the wisest among leaders. Valhalla would be lost without you, and the love between you and Gideon will keep you strong. I admit that I do grow envious of those who have a purpose, for I feel that mine own purpose is at an end. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Now that I am no longer depended on by my siblings, I know not what else to do."

He looked at the ground for a moment, ears splayed back slightly as he wondered why he was telling them this. Perhaps, he had piled it on for a good amount of time, after all, they had been in Valhalla for quite a while now and it seemed as though Caerul still hadn't quite found his place. He hoped that he could find a new purpose soon, but the optimism seemed to be far from his mind now.

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