She had taken the time to rest again, still trying to process the strange dream that had come when she first slept at the Hallows. The nightmares seemed to back off now that she was here in these walls, at least the most gruesome and vivid parts of them. She still felt that immense sadness, the weight of walking alone in her dreams, but she was no longer troubled by visions of Gavroche’s mangled corpse. More often now the dreams showed the boy he had become, happy, loved, playful. He looked so much like her mate and yet she knew that relationship was no longer there. He seemed to love her, but it was not in the way of lovers. He loved her as family, as his grandmother, saw safety. She saw her children in her dreams more too. Hay, Dorian, Nessie, Corbin, Alex, Lucy… even the two she had taken in under her wing, Saga and Riv. Every time she dreamed of them it was with love, her family’s memories trying to comfort her, just as she knew her children would. They needed her. She had to overcome this. She needed to find her strength and will to carry on.
Bellamy wondered about her dream. Had the Goddess given her a sign, a show of her mercy? It had been clear that Gavroche was given a second chance, but it almost seemed as if the Goddess pitied her. Felt for her loss, for the love she’d been forced to give up. Bellamy loved Gav, had wanted to take away his pain, but losing him was something she’d been terrified to experience. She felt alone, even though Bellamy knew better. And she realized she was afraid. Though her dreams were not as haunted as they had been before, she still felt as if, no matter what good was in her dreams, that the shadows at the edges grew closer. Threatening to grab her, drag her down… Bellamy shuddered. She was afraid. Afraid of losing herself and what would become of her, of her family, if she gave in. Would she pass on as well? Would she become lost, to become one of the Lesser?
Questions swam in Bellamy’s mind as she lay in her room and, as the day wore into night, the woman found herself slipping into slumber. Her chest rose and fell, and everything would become dark. Bellamy found herself floating in that darkness, unable to see, without a sense of direction. Her maw opened but no sound could be heard. But she felt the sensation of falling. Falling… falling…
Bellamy jolted up, breathing hard. Only she was no longer in the Hallows. She was lying in grass, beneath the shade of a tree overlooking a lake. Beyond she could see mountains, a sparse scattering of trees beyond. Bellamy’s head spun, confusion in her green gaze. Where… where was she? Her gaze fell to her paws. Had she died? Passed away in her sleep? Her ears slipped against her head. This place of beauty… was this the afterlife the Divinities promised them? But… her heart sank. “What does beauty matter… I’m still alone…”
"Speech," 'Thought.'
Berserker
