ultimately, inevitably

Anyone else would have drowned. Their body to be found bloated and rotting, eyes sheened over and silver, never to blink again. And yet she lived and breathed, made it out without a whisper, found herself hiding away in the Willows, familiar yet different to what she remembered. More than anything she wished she could just turn back time, shed the years and effects they'd had on her body. Seasons had passed and she didn't feel quite so...shaky, instead a sense of bitterness had set in. Azure had used up her best years, consumed her youth and beauty and for what? She thought she loved him, loved their children but looking back she felt a sense of...entitlement perhaps? An old flame sparked, she deserved better than this, and almost dying had reminded her of that. She'd always, in some way, seen others as a tool to use, a pretty smile used to get so far but it seemed as though it counted for little these days. And that was unfair, it had to be, it felt that way deep in her chest like thorns digging into her flesh.

She used to be so wanted and had thrived off of the attention. But the Armada and the wolves who called it home just kept on doing their own thing, she'd been hiding away, sulking in the hopes that someone would notice. But they hadn't, not even Sirius who was clearly too busy fanning the flames with someone else.

Even her own children didn't care, perhaps they took after their Father too much. And she'd almost died giving birth to them, surely they owed her more than that?

She lingered by the waterside, looking down at her reflection and grimacing slightly at what she saw. The old wounds had healed, her skin all pretty and pink, but the disfigurements (yes a bit dramatic, it wasn't like she was beastly) remained, a bitter reminder of what she'd indured. What she hadn't deserved.