A spiral note now
Bellamy, alphas?
11-25-2023, 03:29 PM
If it was one thing the world knew of him, it was his feeble attempt to keep true feelings hidden. Yet even as he stood here he felt her warmth and he could ask nothing if not for her health. Selfish indeed his mind continued reminded him that perhaps he was useless. For what could he do when he hadn’t achieved much in his life. He couldn’t protect his young mate, he couldn’t protect their children either. Leaving him alone…. So starckly alone even if he was surrounded right? Bellamy would say caring didn’t have an age limit, embarrassed his ears twitched but he decided not to say anything about it in return. So he let her speak and when she beckoned him for a walk, he did so even if his paws were itchy with the feeling of leaving. Cut it off, wasn’t like he made their lives any better Bellamy and her family.
Fenix walked beside her and remained silent. Lowering his head, she spoke true. If anyone knew of loss it would be the woman who’s already gone through so much. Yet the sun still rose another day, the seasons still changed. Somehow he felt like even the world was leaving him behind. Maybe change just wasn’t for him. He didn’t let the thoughts distract him so badly he did however take Bellamy’s words to heart. In some resemblance he trusted her far more than he even trusted himself in these very moments.
At the end of it all he wasn’t sure what to make of it. She was right, she couldn’t make him stay but maybe even she didn’t realize her words were likely going to keep himself going. If only for a little while longer. He was tired, but he already had a plan in mind. Maybe it was what she said, maybe he wanted her to find him. He didn’t plan on telling anyone where he was going but he supposed if there truly was an emergency they could find him.
So he turned then, not really wanting to stay further. "I’ll try not to carry it alone….and no need. I already informed Haydee of my leave before I came here." in which he hadn’t said he was coming here or where he was going next. "You always know what to say Bellamy. Even when faced with the pits of despair. Your words hold power like no other. Maybe it’s just me but, honestly I didn’t know how I was getting up in the mornings. I felt so hollow and I didn’t know how to stop it. But I do find myself latching onto your words, as if they’re a drink of water after a long journey’s end." he had turned fully then he looked towards the outskirts of the territory.
"If you do need me, I’ll be up north tending to my parents graves….. I just need some time I promise. I’ll try to eat better while I’m there. If you can don’t tell anyone where I’m going. If you must I don’t think I need many visits at the moment." but he did. He did want her to come to him. It was alright even if it was a lie for him. Fenix began to walk away though he muttered under his breath. I think I love you and there’s nothing I can do to stop that….
-attempting exit-
Fenix walked beside her and remained silent. Lowering his head, she spoke true. If anyone knew of loss it would be the woman who’s already gone through so much. Yet the sun still rose another day, the seasons still changed. Somehow he felt like even the world was leaving him behind. Maybe change just wasn’t for him. He didn’t let the thoughts distract him so badly he did however take Bellamy’s words to heart. In some resemblance he trusted her far more than he even trusted himself in these very moments.
At the end of it all he wasn’t sure what to make of it. She was right, she couldn’t make him stay but maybe even she didn’t realize her words were likely going to keep himself going. If only for a little while longer. He was tired, but he already had a plan in mind. Maybe it was what she said, maybe he wanted her to find him. He didn’t plan on telling anyone where he was going but he supposed if there truly was an emergency they could find him.
So he turned then, not really wanting to stay further. "I’ll try not to carry it alone….and no need. I already informed Haydee of my leave before I came here." in which he hadn’t said he was coming here or where he was going next. "You always know what to say Bellamy. Even when faced with the pits of despair. Your words hold power like no other. Maybe it’s just me but, honestly I didn’t know how I was getting up in the mornings. I felt so hollow and I didn’t know how to stop it. But I do find myself latching onto your words, as if they’re a drink of water after a long journey’s end." he had turned fully then he looked towards the outskirts of the territory.
"If you do need me, I’ll be up north tending to my parents graves….. I just need some time I promise. I’ll try to eat better while I’m there. If you can don’t tell anyone where I’m going. If you must I don’t think I need many visits at the moment." but he did. He did want her to come to him. It was alright even if it was a lie for him. Fenix began to walk away though he muttered under his breath. I think I love you and there’s nothing I can do to stop that….
-attempting exit-
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