What was I thinking?
Crux
12-01-2023, 01:27 PM
Maybe he was wrapped up enough in his own joy at her being there, at her gift, that Crux didn't quite catch her own growing shyness. Though he decided against teasing her too hard as she stammered through a response. "Don't think you're so easily forgotten." He said softly, wanting to reach out and nose at Cryptis' head, but holding himself just short. Okay sure she didn't occupy literally every waking moment he had but she took up damn near close to it. Not that he was about to admit that.
Just as his paw was brushing the the new bracelet Triss posed him a question and he opened one of his eyes, giving her a soft smile and nod before he rose back up to a sitting position so he could properly explain. "It's a ritual I came up with, to help keep myself calm in stressful situations. But sometimes I also just like to remind myself they're there." "This isn't a stressful situation don't worry" basically. "First:" He lifted a paw to the pendant that now hung loosely against his chest. "My older brother he... Was cruel. He hated weakness and had a pretty narrow view of what constituted strength. He hated us, me and two of my sisters specifically. They were also born with disabilities, not the same one as me but I'm pretty sure our brother didn't even know the word nuance let alone what it meant. He harassed us whenever he got a chance, did some pretty bad damage to one of my sister's paws and pushed her face nearly into a fire." There was a tension in him as he remembered Azure, remembered learning what had been done to Kite. "I got good at hiding from him so I escaped the majority of his abuse but he taught me others would see my leg, and nothing else. That I wasn't a wolf with a disability, that I was a disability with a face. And others would hate me for it." Crux took a few deep breathes, gently playing with the pendant as he forced himself to return to a calmer state. "This," he said gently lifting the cord so it draped over a fore paw and let the feather dangle over his wrist, "was a gift. From my first friend, from the first wolf who taught me my brother was wrong, that wolves who weren't obligated to care could. It's silly, all we did was play in the market for a day but it was enough, if he could call me a friend then my brother had to be wrong." Okay enough of that before he started making things even more confusing.
Crux let the pendant drop to his chest and moved his paw to the cuff that he'd kept on. "My mother she-" Had his voice just cracked? Yeah this was clearly still a raw wound and his voice dropped, gaze doing so at the same time. He kept his attention on the cuff, rubbing it gently. "She was sick for most of the time I knew her... I still don't know exactly what happened but I think it had something to do with- There was something unnatural happening... I don't remember a lot." Yeah because mostly that time of his life had been written over by the sudden shock and grief. Wasn't that sad? The majority of what he could remember of his childhood was painful memories, the terror his brother inflicted on them and the loss of his mother. He really only had one pinprick of light in his memories from then. He wanted to be angry about that, but what good would it do? Azure was gone and even then nothing he did would ever bring his mother back. "Our father gave us each a set of these on our first birthday, to remember her by. The gems are like the colour of her fur and she used to have this cheetah pelt armour..." He fell silent for a moment but didn't want to let that sombre note colour things so he quickly added: "You're the first wolf I've told all this too." Crux pulled his gaze back up to look at her. Obviously his family knew what had happened to his mother but he'd never shared what his ritual was or the significance of his pendant before.
Okay, things were getting heavy, time to lighten things up. "Oh!" He said in mock remebrance and he shifted his paws to touch the bracelet. "Okay so there's this girl..." He allowed a playful smile and winked, "See she kinda saved my life, she's pretty and talented and she makes my stomach fill up with butterflies just by being there." This was the third time he'd told her he found her pretty. "So yes I'd say they have a meaning, and they're all pretty damn important if you ask me!"
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.
Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.
Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.
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| 1. | What was I thinking? | Waterfall Peak | 10:13 PM, 11-05-2023 | 04:15 AM, 05-01-2024 |