as we collide
09-18-2013, 09:03 PM
CHRYSANTHE VS. SENDOA FOR SENDOA Round 1
Chrysanthe: CLARITY: 10/10 Clear post! POWERPLAYING: 0/ 10 ?coming at her in a frontal assult? don?t assume Chrys was able to do this. Sendoa could easily move out of the way of Chrys?s attack. ?Yet as she approached her her target? once again, don?t assume she could close the distance. ?yank once she tasted any sort of blood in her mouth? conditional, doesn?t allow Sendoa time to reply to attack. If you were going to word this, I would suggest wording it along the lines of her attempting to do this motion anyways. By saying she?s tasted blood, you?ve one squeezed in an extra move into this post by assuming that Chrys?s jaws would even taste blood. ?It was more to thrust herself into the other? I didn?t deduct for this, but be careful. It sounds like you are assuming Chrys was able to thrust herself into Sendoa, even though you said in hopes of her grip, it really assumes Chrys has been able to get closer to Sendoa. DEFENSES: 10/10 Eyes narrowed, ears pinned, head lowered, hackles raised, balance, legs squared, shoulders rolled, legs bent, jaws parted, tail tucked, toes biting into ground ATTACK: 4/10 It feels like she could have done more; she had the first move. It?s very singular in aim, and it also exposes Chrys?s own side neck to Sendoa. INJURIES: 10/10 First round. No injuries. Round One Chrysanthe Total: 34/50 Sendoa: CLARITY: 4/10 I am not entirely certain how Chrysanthe?s bite managed to get into Sendoa?s shoulder. Chrysanthe was aiming for the upper neck of Sendoa, so even if Sendoa moved, Chrysanthe?s jaws wouldn?t lower. Where on Chrysanthe?s face is she aiming to attack? You mention it in her OOC tags as the eye, but ICly it is not clear at all that she was aiming for the eye. POWERPLAYING: 8/10 ?If, by the off chance the attacker had already released her shoulder? minor conditional (as Sendoa?s doing the same movement regardless); don?t assume what Chrysanthe would do in any sense. DEFENSES: 6/10 Shoulders rolled, chin tucked, eyes narrowed, tail swept to one side, legs spread, hackles raised ATTACK: 6/10 Attempt at maim (blinding in left eye) and trying to slam shoulder into Chrysanthe?s teeth. This attack exposes her throat (vital area), as Chrysanthe?s head is currently lower than Sendoa?s and Sendoa?s attack would place her throat above Chrysanthe?s jaws. INJURIES: 10/ 10 Deep punctures to shoulder (no deduction, first round) Round One Sendoa Total: 34/50 Round 2
Chrysanthe: CLARITY: 2/10 How deep were the lacerations to her muzzle? ?Turning her head to her own right? Would this not turn her head away from Sendoa, because Sendoa is to her left? Her movements in this post are difficult to understand, particularly her attack sequence. POWERPLAYING: 0/10 Chrys had a bit too much movement in my opinion, and her dodge of Sendoa?s attack wasn?t all that realistic. I do not feel like she would have enough time to fully avoid all the moves. I also don?t feel like it?s fair to assume that she was quick enough to avoid a grip on her muzzle. Sendoa?s shoulder attack was timed at the same time as her jaw attack; therefore, I don?t see how it?s possible for Sendoa?s attacks to reposition like this? It also seems a bit unfair, as it practically forces Sendoa to take damage from Chrysanthe?s jaw attack. DEFENSES: 10/10 Eyes narrowed, ears pinned, hackles, front legs bent, jaws, shoulders, body lowered, weight balanced, toes biting into soil, tail tucked ATTACK: 4/ 10 Once again, a very singular attack. It?s not aimed anywhere vital, and leaves her entire side open to Sendoa?s jaws. It was very confusing as well; I had to read over it a few times to get that she was aiming for the armpit and not a part of the leg (deducted this from clarity). INJURIES: 7/10 Moderate (?) lacerations to muzzle, bruising to side Round Two Chrysanthe Total: 23/50 Sendoa: CLARITY: 5/10 How deep were the wounds that the bite wound delivered? The bruising to her shoulder wasn?t mentioned in the post, but it should have been, and the level of damage should have been specified. POWERPLAYING: 10/ 10 Just a general note to be careful about if statements. Yours didn?t really dictate Chrys?s actions or give Sendoa an unfair move, it mores seemed like a figure of speech so I just left it, but just beware of conditionals as some judges consider them power play. DEFENSES: 8/10 Jaws, chin tucked, ears pinned, eyes slitted, tail swiped to one side, balanced stance, legs bent, shoulders rolled ATTACK: 5/ 10 Her attempt to grip Chrysanthe?s scruff isn?t realistic; Sendoa would really have to stretch and twist her head to get any effect from this attack. The shoulder attack also is not likely to be effective; if Chrysanthe has a grip on Sendoa?s armpit, and their shoulders just brushed past each other, how could she manage to slam her shoulder against anything of Chrysanthe?s? INJURIES: 7/10 Moderate (?) punctures to armpit area, bruising to shoulder (?) Round Two Sendoa Total: 35/50 Round 3
Chrysanthe: CLARITY: 7/ 10 Did Sendoa?s shoulder do any damage? You said Chrysanthe pulled back, but never specified if Chrysanthe definitely didn?t receive damage. POWERPLAYING: 5/10 ?twist her head just enough to pull another groan or perhaps a yowl of pain from the woman that she was fighting? Don?t assume that Chrysanthe would be able to do this; Sendoa could quickly pull away, and this wording makes it sound like Chrys is automatically going to pull a groan from Sendoa. DEFENSES: 10/10 Eyes narrowed, shoulders rolled, hackles raised, tail level, balanced stance, bent legs, ears pulled back, head lowered, weight balanced, toes ATTACK: 3/10 Once again, a singular attack. I wouldn?t really count this as an attack more than I would a continued previous attack. Not only would more attacks have earned her more points, but attacks in more vital areas would have certainly earned her a few more points. INJURIES: 8/ 10 Slight, but painful lacerations to neck Round Three Chrysanthe Total: 33/ 50 Sendoa: CLARITY: 8/10 Exactly what damage was taken to her armpit? POWERPLAYING: 1/10 ?If anything it would certainly worsen the damage? Don?t assume this. It is up to Chrysanthe to determine if the damage will even worsen. ?As she did this, she felt Chrysanthe's jaws recoiling back and away from their target, whilst still holding fast to the flesh she'd managed to get a hold on? Chrysanthe?s jaws didn?t recoil; her body pulled back. There was nothing in her post about her releasing her jaws at all. ?even as she leaned slightly into Chrysanthe to hopefully lessen the pain and injury to her side? be careful with this; you used an attempt phrase earlier, so no deductions, but be aware. Every time you state how your attack affects another, you should use ?attempt? or an equivalent. DEFENSES: 8/10 Ears tucked, eyes narrowed, balance even, tail, hackles raised, shoulders rolled, chin tucked, claws in ground ATTACK: 5/10 She does two attacks, but I?m not entirely certain how leaning into Chrysanthe causes any damage unless she?s aiming a shoulder at her? Similar to Chrysanthe, her attack isn?t exactly a new attack in my opinion, but it is in a vital area. INJURIES: 7/ 10 Severe bite wound to armpit Round Three Sendoa Total: 29/50 Totals:
Chrysanthe: 90 + 5 for sentry = 95/150 Sendoa: 98 + 0 (duty not applicable) = 98/150 And the winner is...
Sendoa! Chrysanthe must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage:
Chrysanthe- most serious damage done to her face, with lacerations that will take 2 ooc weeks to heal. Sendoa - most serious damage done to her armpit, with a bite wound that will take 3 ooc weeks to heal. Notes:
I am a stricter judge, so please do not feel that these scores mean that you guys were terrible or anything. My scores tend to be lower in general, so these were rather high! The fight was enjoyable! There were issues with powerplay; you both obviously are good fighters and know what it is, but sometimes it catches you unintentionally (see the notes for specific examples). Also, your wordings were not always clear, so please be mindful of this. Wording things simply (even using funny comparisons can help) as possible would be good. Seren, your defenses were amazing! I understand you were going for Sentinel, but you could have even picked up a few more attack points if Chrysanthe had gone for areas that were more vital (i.e. eyes, arteries, the top of the neck or the throat). Andy, you could have used a few more defenses; in general I look for ten a post. You both did well with taking damage, however, and overall it was an enjoyable, close fight! |