hey so my kinda gf lives here?

There was a truth as to why Ophie had left, but it felt like an excuse. Heavy and sticky in her grasp, like tar that sunk into her bones and ruined everything she touched. Stained it black. With grief like that staying didn't even feel like an option, it felt unkind to drag others down with her because even though she knew Kaija would have done anything to support her through it, it wouldn't have felt fair or right. She couldn't hand off how she'd felt to anyone, an amalgamation of everything she was and wasn't - what she could have been if she was just better and good.

"When Mum died there was- a meaness in me. Felt like you could've cut me open and it would have spilled out like my organs. I've never hated so much and it was all I could think about, and it terrified me. I wasn't good to myself and I didn't want anyone either." She'd wanted to die a few times before, putting to bluntly left a bitter taste on her tongue, but that's how it had been. A wolf was supposed to fight tooth and claw to live, and she just didn't want to.

"I just sort of wandered till this group of hogs found me, they were really nice and- I mean they gave me food but they talked to me too."