Bad Company
09-21-2013, 12:33 PM
SATIS v ALTAIR for PRACTICE Round 1
satis: clarity ? 10 out of 10 ; no issues reading/comprehending the post. powerplay ? 9 out of 10 ; ?..as she readied herself for any attempted dodging, she was small enough and fast enough to disallow it.? this came off to me as if you were stating that it would be impossible for altair to dodge satis? attack. in that case, that should not be stated because you can?t determine what is or is not possible for altair. instead, you could say something along the lines of ?satis would attempt to follow altair?s movements to limit the possibility of dodging? rather than cut it out completely. defenses ? 9 out of 10 ; eyes narrowed, ears pinned, hackles raised, chin tucked, shoulders rolled, body lowered, skull lowered, weight properly distributed, teeth bared attack ? 6 out of 10 ; forceful grasp to altair?s lower left forelimb moving towards his right to knock him off balance. injuries ? 10 out of 10 ; first round. Round One Satis Total ? 44 out of 50 altair: clarity ? 8 out of 10 ; you did not specify how much damage satis did to his left forelimb. although satis could attempt to tighten her grip on altair?s left forelimb, what damage was done this round needs to be clarified (i.e. deep, moderate, or minimal puncture wounds). powerplay ? 10 out of 10 ; no powerplaying found. defenses ? 5 out of 10 ; neck scrunched, ears pinned, widened stance, weight distributed, tail tucked attack ? 4 out of 10 ; single attack to the area in between satis? shoulders. injuries ? 10 out of 10 ; first round ? bite to the lower left forelimb. Round One Altair Total ? 37 out of 50 Round 2
satis: clarity ? 8 out of 10 ; you did state that altair managed to hit his mark but you did not clarify exactly what damage was done to satis. be specific even with injuries. powerplay ? 10 out of 10 ; no powerplay detected. defenses ? 7 out of 10 ; hackles raised, spine aligned, shoulders rolled, tail tucked, tensed abdomen, narrowed eyes, narrowed eyes, ears pinned, chin tucked. deducted two points from initial score because rolling onto her back puts her at a fairly vulnerable position. attack ? 5 out of 10 ; shifts bite down towards altair?s paw, possible skull shaking motion to accompany her grip. injuries ? 8 out of 10 ; unspecified damage to the in-between of satis? upper shoulder blades. Round Two Satis Total ? 38 out of 50 altair: clarity ? 7 out of 10 ; exactly where on satis? right forelimb did altair attempt to grasp and to what side of satis does he attempt to move parallel to? powerplay ? 7 out of 10 ; minor powerplay used. ?Moments later the tightening of his jaws?? although it is logical that altair could tighten his grip, an attempt still needs to be made rather than an assumption to keep it fair on satis. also, i felt that, especially with an injured paw, it would be less probable for altair to jump away from satis and then back to her before she had enough time to get off her back. defenses ? 4 out of 10 ; hackles raised, teeth bared, ears pinned, hackles raised, tail tucked, moving parallel to satis. two points deducted from initial score because reaching over satis to grasp her right forelimb would result in the exposure of altair?s neck, which is a very vital area to a wolf, even if it was just for a moment. attack ? 4 out of 10 ; bite to satis? right forelimb, attempting to pull back on it to keep her from moving. with her position, i felt a lot more could have been done here, even if it is a spar. injuries ? 6 out of 10 ; hindering injury to left forepaw, cuts to left forelimb. Round Two Altair Total ? 27 out of 50 Round 3
satis: clarity ? 9 out of 10 ; exactly where upon satis? right forelimb did altair manage to grasp? there was also slight confusion in regard to the positioning which is detailed in the pp section, but i didn?t dock you points in clarity for it. powerplay ? 7 out of 10 ; ??beneath the male who stood so strongly above her.? in altair?s post, it was specified that he moved parallel to her, not above her. defenses ? 6 out of 10 ; spine aligned, tail tucked, tensed abdomen, ears pinned, hackles raised, chin tucked. narrowed eyes were mentioned in the summary but not the actual post, so no point was awarded for it. attack ? 6 out of 10 ; bite to the left eye, hinds thrust upward to impact altair. full points for the kick attack weren?t rewarded because of the unlikeliness to actually hit where she intended to due to the misconception of positioning. injuries ? 8 out of 10 ; wound to right forelimb. Round Three Satis Total ? 36 out of 50 altair: clarity ? 6 out of 10 ; a clear injury was not taken this round. the post stated that altair turned his cheek in towards her attack ? which would, in essence, actually angle his eye closer to her mouth ? but even so, you did not specify that satis actually managed to succeed in hitting anything. it seemed, to me, as if you were waiting for satis to clarify where she would hit since he moved his cheek, but that is actually up for you to decide. powerplay ? 7 out of 10 ; ?He jerked her leg up to the right?? and ?Alta?r clamped his jaws tight around her forelimb?? similar to the last issue, altair cannot automatically manage to succeed in doing these things even if it is probable. both would have to be made attempts. defenses ? 4 out of 10 ; teeth bared, neck scrunched, body curved, hackles raised. attack ? 1 out of 10 ; tightens his grip on her right forelimb. injuries ? 5 out of 10 ; bruised ribs, unspecified damage to eye/cheek area. Round Three Altair Total ? 23 out of 50 Totals:
satis ? 118 out of 150 altair ? 87 out of 150 And the winner is...
satis! altair must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage:
satis ? torn flesh between her upper shoulder blades, moderate puncture wounds to right forelimb. will take an ooc week for her injuries to heal. altair ? moderate cuts to lower left forelimb, hindering injury to left forepaw that'll complicate walking, moderate gashes to left cheek. the forepaw injury will take ten ooc days to heal and the other injuries will take an ooc week. Notes:
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) both of your writing depicts nearly impeccable grammar so it made for an easy read. yumpy, for you, most points were deducted from attacks, so my only suggestion for you would be to perhaps incorporate multi-move attacks into your fights. bloss, there were slight issues with pp, but just remember that even small and logical movements such as tightening a hold on a limb need to be made as attempts. also, try to incorporate more defenses into your posts to raise your defensive score -- you can never have too many defenses! that was, overall, an enjoyable read, and this was my first spar i've judged so thank you for that! great fight guise! c: - By [ aly ]
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